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Posted: 5/6/2023 8:42:47 PM EDT
[#1]
It’s the sex cycle of marriage.
Tri Weekly Try Weekly Try Weakly |
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Posted: 5/6/2023 8:59:03 PM EDT
[#2]
Either we're fuckin, or I'm fuckin.
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Posted: 5/6/2023 9:07:43 PM EDT
[#3]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Jeez, funny the whippersnappers think a sex life is over at 50. |
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Posted: 5/6/2023 9:15:33 PM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted: This. I know plenty of married women around here that are not fucking their husbands, but are definitely fucking someone…… Thats where you rig up a chasity belt made out of those worthless gun locks that are left in the box. |
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Posted: 5/6/2023 9:26:55 PM EDT
[#5]
26 years.
It's had a it's droughts, at one point it was 6 times in one year. Currently 1 to 2 times a week. I can tell you that the emotional damage is readily brought to the surface. |
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Posted: 5/6/2023 9:34:42 PM EDT
[#6]
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Posted: 5/6/2023 9:35:23 PM EDT
[#7]
It's over. Move on.
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Posted: 5/6/2023 9:38:29 PM EDT
[#8]
Love is the most important thing in a marriage. Married 46 years and still going at it.
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Posted: 5/6/2023 11:05:15 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted: It's very linear: No sex - - > Resentment - - > The relationship is over. Ask me how I know. Nick |
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Posted: 5/6/2023 11:16:51 PM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted: A question for those who ejected because of it. How long did you hold on for your kids?  Nick |
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Posted: 5/6/2023 11:23:28 PM EDT
[#11]
Quoted: Just a discussion with some friends about relationships, in what they are and how they work. Someone said that if there is no sex, the relationship or marriage is over. Someone else said there are other ways to be intimate and care and remain in the relationship, even if there is no sex. Barring medical issues, which is correct? If a marriage or relationship has no sex is it over? Depends on why. There is a difference between Can’t and Won’t. Sometimes people can’t for medical reasons-not to say that there aren’t things that can still be done to take care of a partner’s basic needs. People who won’t are a different matter-IMO, one partner should not have the unilateral power to decide that their partner will never have sex again. But yes, in the case of Won’t, it’s a sure sign it’s over simply because sex is a form of communication, bonding, and a barometer for your relationship with your partner. If you can’tt share your bodies, how close can you really be? |
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Posted: 5/7/2023 1:39:22 PM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted: My wife and I are in our 50's. Still really important for us, very important. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Jeez, funny the whippersnappers think a sex life is over at 50. That was my first thought too. I'm not there just yet but it isn't far off. Can't imagine not wanting to break off a piece multiple times a week. |
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Posted: 5/7/2023 1:41:54 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Daughter is 17. So...17 years so far. Nick You haven’t had sex with your wife in 17 years? I don’t see how you guys do it. Really. I understand hanging on for the sake of your children but damn. What a sacrifice. |
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Posted: 5/7/2023 1:56:51 PM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted: If there is no sex, outside of medical reasons or simply mutually not wanting it (1 in 4 dislike sex), then I say the marriage is in need of repair, but not necessarily over. There is always hope, amigo. Agreed. The only way no sex is a marriage is acceptable is if there is a medical problem or if bother partners agree they don’t desire sex. |
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Posted: 5/7/2023 2:04:06 PM EDT
[#15]
OVER...
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Posted: 5/7/2023 2:06:18 PM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted: You haven't had sex with your wife in 17 years? I don't see how you guys do it. Really. I understand hanging on for the sake of your children but damn. What a sacrifice. Nick |
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Posted: 5/7/2023 2:09:56 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted: It's very linear: No sex - - > Resentment - - > The relationship is over. Ask me how I know. This was part of our problem. Last 10 years we were married, I was lucky to get it once a year. Last 3 we were together. I didn't even bother asking anymore. |
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Posted: 5/7/2023 2:10:47 PM EDT
[#18]
In reading thru the responses it's obvious that not many here are my age (almost 60). In answer to your question, yes it's entirely possible to have a rich and beautiful life together WITHOUT Sex...no cheating, no vows being broken, Sex is one component of a marriage and a very big piece of it earlier on, but it's not the only component and from someone that has been happily married for 33 years, I won't even say it's the most important. Love is and there are more than one way for expressing love.
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Posted: 5/7/2023 10:13:01 PM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted: This was part of our problem. Last 10 years we were married, I was lucky to get it once a year. Last 3 we were together. I didn't even bother asking anymore. My last was like that, currently marriage is feeling the same way. Makes me feel like some kind of failure. Resentment is the real deal. |
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Posted: 5/7/2023 11:25:16 PM EDT
[#20]
I will be 51 soon. My wife is a few years younger. She started menopause early due to thyroid issues. I love my wife and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. But our sex life feels hopeless to me. Truth of it,sex was always more important to me than her. Now she just doesn't really care. If I ask her she is like I know I'm not a good wife I haven't taken care of you like I should. Then continue to do nothing. Truthfuly it's less likely now because I don't push the issue. Physically I don't want it as much now but psychology I feel I'm getting short changed. Truthfuly I would want it alot more if it was someone younger and more into it. It's really depressing.
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Posted: 5/7/2023 11:52:34 PM EDT
[#21]
Wife unit shut off years ago. She refuses to even try to resolve her issues.
I dont go looking but wont say no to offers. |
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Posted: 5/8/2023 2:46:18 AM EDT
[#22]
it depends entirely on the relationship
If both parties are happy, then it's a good relationship |
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Posted: 5/8/2023 3:32:39 AM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Ok, all you guys with women yelling "health" issues (menopause, thyroid, etc.)??? I call bullshit.... IMO, that doesn't fall into the "She can't", it falls into "She won't" A woman called Dr. Laura, who was honest that medically/physically she lost interest in sex - but did she throw in the towel? No. She sought treatment cuz she actually didn't see the "In sickness and in health" as a one-way street. I also knew a married guy whose ex would claim she had a UTI (which I "get" where she's coming from) and all kind of other physical excuses - but when he asked to go to the Dr. with her? Nope...she declined. He did say she was abused as a child - so there you go. In sum, lots of women using the physical as an excuse to be lazy and/or act out some trauma they had and guys shouldn't tolerate that shit...IMO. But I guess, like Dr. Laura says, guys usually can't be alone - especially when they've been with a woman for years. Me? Again, I have my male "buddy" and am not putting out job applications for any more "buddies" - I need a "lover"  |
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Posted: 5/8/2023 3:46:27 AM EDT
[#24]
I'm 67 today
  And I have sex every day with my lady friend. But maybe because she is 37 and not my age. |
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Posted: 5/8/2023 3:46:58 AM EDT
[#25]
I find this “over 50 whatever” attitude odd. We are both 60. Married 38 years. We have sex at least once a week.
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Posted: 5/8/2023 4:28:15 AM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted: A question for those who ejected because of it. How long did you hold on for your kids? I ejected for more than that reason. But, I waited until the kids were out of the house and in college. Even my kids told me that I gave the marriage a good run. But when the other person isn't willng to make any effort. Then they both agreed that it was time for me to end it. Now with my lovely girlfriend. Things are a little different! |
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Posted: 5/8/2023 4:50:41 AM EDT
[#27]
If you’re not sexually active with them. They’re not your wife, they’re your roommate. If they bring enough to the table financially, emotionally or childcare that’s great. That just makes them a good roommate.
If they’re not bringing anything to the table, then you’re a fool to tolerate it out of a roommate that doesn’t share in any other responsibilities. Sure there are medical reasons. Simple answer, are they trying to get better or improve it? Or are they ok making that decision for both of y’all without trying to get better? The difference between the two. One deserves support, understanding, patience. The other option means you need to evict your roommate. |
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Posted: 5/8/2023 4:59:30 AM EDT
[#28]
I told my wife when we married that if she ever decides she doesn't want to fuck at least once a month I'd go buy a hot prostitute a few times a year and she wouldn't know about it. I wouldn't leave unless I was unhappy with other things but I'd certainly get laid whether she's there or not.
Been together 17 years now and we have more and better sex than when we started. I'm lucky I think. A lot of friends have wives that don't want to fuck. I tell them to go buy a hooker. Lol |
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Posted: 5/8/2023 5:05:33 AM EDT
[#29]
You silly vanillas with your mandated single source intimacy.
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Posted: 5/8/2023 5:25:46 AM EDT
[#30]
Quoted: Just a discussion with some friends about relationships, in what they are and how they work. Someone said that if there is no sex, the relationship or marriage is over. Someone else said there are other ways to be intimate and care and remain in the relationship, even if there is no sex. Barring medical issues, which is correct? If a marriage or relationship has no sex is it over? Sorry OP you have no sex. 
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Posted: 5/8/2023 5:28:23 AM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Both 54 here, married 21 years and fuck about 6 days a week. Breaking out the sex bench tonight.   J/K Good Job!! 
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Posted: 5/8/2023 5:39:57 AM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted: My husband will be 50 in 2 months and I certainly give a shit.  I just turned 50 and my wife definitely gives a shit (5 nights a week). About 4 years ago we committed to having sex every day for an entire year. It was tough with the schedule but we did accomplish it. I feel that developed behaviors that will keep us close and intimate for the rest of our days. |
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Posted: 5/8/2023 7:17:47 AM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I will be 51 soon. My wife is a few years younger. She started menopause early due to thyroid issues. I love my wife and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. But our sex life feels hopeless to me. Truth of it,sex was always more important to me than her. Now she just doesn't really care. If I ask her she is like I know I'm not a good wife I haven't taken care of you like I should. Then continue to do nothing. Truthfuly it's less likely now because I don't push the issue. Physically I don't want it as much now but psychology I feel I'm getting short changed. Truthfuly I would want it alot more if it was someone younger and more into it. It's really depressing. It sounds like you (and a lot of other guys here on Arf) could benefit from listening to Jimmy on Relationships on YouTube. |
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Posted: 5/8/2023 7:18:37 AM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted: My last was like that, currently marriage is feeling the same way. Makes me feel like some kind of failure. Resentment is the real deal. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: This was part of our problem. Last 10 years we were married, I was lucky to get it once a year. Last 3 we were together. I didn't even bother asking anymore. My last was like that, currently marriage is feeling the same way. Makes me feel like some kind of failure. Resentment is the real deal. I hear you. My ex and I had sex 2 times in the last 2.5 years of our marriage. It was an issue the majority of the 17 years we were together. Even during the "salad days" it was once a month at best. It's difficult to explain what it's like to be rejected by your partner multiple times a week, over a decade and a half. Suspicion, self-doubt, resentment, anger, depression. It's been 3 years I've been divorced and I'm still broken from it. It is difficult for me to initiate; I know its a different woman/situation but subconsciously I fear more rejection. |
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Posted: 5/8/2023 7:38:51 AM EDT
[#35]
Someone will provide the attention needed and it'll be trouble for the marriage. Either keep up your half of the bargain or don't be surprised.
Most days I feel like we're co-parenting. 14 more years then we can get divorced.
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Posted: 5/8/2023 7:45:41 AM EDT
[#36]
If medical, understandable.
If one used sex to lure the other mate into the relationship, that’s BS. But as always, everyone is different. Some might be OK with it. I would not have… but again, it depends on the cause. I would never double victimize a woman going through a medical issue by dumping her. |
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Posted: 5/8/2023 7:50:20 AM EDT
[#37]
OP, I would tend to agree that if someone is in a sexless marriage and one party is unhappy about it, then the marriage should be dissolved. Many people want to stick it out because of their vows or because they love the person. But if your needs are not being met, then you are going to be miserable and unable to truly invest yourself in the marriage anyway. There will always be resentment of what could have been or should have been. Your mate not honoring their promise/vow to be your one and only partner is them breaking their part of the deal as well.
IMO, if you are in this situation, you have (3) options: Come to an agreement with your partner that someone else will be taking care of your needs (kind of nullifies the point of marriage anyway) Be strong enough to withstand all of the mental toils that you will have to endure in order to make it work both of the previous options will probably lead to the last......EJECT/divorce Women will always tell you what they expect out of men...they even have magazines and books about it (war manuals). Men need to start demanding more out of women or quit marrying them. |
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Posted: 5/8/2023 8:50:03 AM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted: No offense, but how can you be with someone that long w/o having sex???? Anywho, like others said, depends on what's going on... Me? I'm currently in such a situation - where if we can't get the sex situation fixed, I'm out...cuz I already have a male "buddy" (non-romantic situation) and don't need another. |
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Posted: 5/8/2023 11:13:49 AM EDT
[#39]
You may survive cancer, like I did, but sometimes there is a price to pay for survival. I chose life. But my life is now totally and completely different. And some things are permanent and can not be fixed. Just hope if it happens to you, you have someone who will support you and stand by you, even with a loss that affects you both.
I hope it never happens to you. |
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Posted: 5/8/2023 2:24:23 PM EDT
[#40]
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Posted: 5/9/2023 11:51:27 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I don't expect most 90 year Olds to have sex. My grandparents did until he broke his hip at 87. Evidently they had sex daily. Why my grandmother told me this I’ll never know. The ultimate TMI. |
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Posted: 5/9/2023 11:59:44 PM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted: OP, I would tend to agree that if someone is in a sexless marriage and one party is unhappy about it, then the marriage should be dissolved. Many people want to stick it out because of their vows or because they love the person. But if your needs are not being met, then you are going to be miserable and unable to truly invest yourself in the marriage anyway. There will always be resentment of what could have been or should have been. Your mate not honoring their promise/vow to be your one and only partner is them breaking their part of the deal as well. IMO, if you are in this situation, you have (3) options: Come to an agreement with your partner that someone else will be taking care of your needs (kind of nullifies the point of marriage anyway) Be strong enough to withstand all of the mental toils that you will have to endure in order to make it work both of the previous options will probably lead to the last......EJECT/divorce Women will always tell you what they expect out of men...they even have magazines and books about it (war manuals). Men need to start demanding more out of women or quit marrying them. My uncle’s wife cut him off for 7 years, and his therapist was all but begging him to get some strange. My wife cut me off for about six months…she had already cheated on me in the past, so I’m pretty sure my wife was test driving another dick. We split up when (apparently I’m an asshole for expecting sex) when she refused to go within 2 feet of my dick. Now I’m fucking chicks half her age with sex drives that are almost too much to handle…almost. |
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Posted: 5/10/2023 12:15:47 AM EDT
[#43]
Deleted
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Posted: 5/10/2023 12:36:46 AM EDT
[#44]
Marriage without sex
 I am over 50 and after 25 years of marriage, we still have sex 2-3 times a week. We still sleep naked as well, no matter how bad a day you had, sleeping beside your naked bride makes it better. If more married couples worked as a team, communicate, fuck and sleep naked the world would be a better place. |
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Posted: 5/10/2023 2:01:02 AM EDT
[#45]
Men love the women they have sex with.
Women have sex with the men they love. and... Men want sex without responsibility. Women want responsibility without sex. Biologically it can never synchronize. Or work. Just accept it for what it is. |
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Posted: 5/10/2023 2:14:33 AM EDT
[#46]
Regardless of the marriage question, the hyper-sexualization of American culture over the last 40 years was directed and implemented by communists. Another attempt to divide.
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Posted: 5/29/2023 4:33:28 PM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted: so what are you saying? You have a “non romantic” buddy as option B? Have you tried sitting down with your significant other and talking about it? Sounds like you already checked out. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: No offense, but how can you be with someone that long w/o having sex???? Anywho, like others said, depends on what's going on... Me? I'm currently in such a situation - where if we can't get the sex situation fixed, I'm out...cuz I already have a male "buddy" (non-romantic situation) and don't need another. Ok.... Remember back in the day there was such a creature called "pen-pals"??? I and my buddy never met and/or developed into a romantic thing. We met on an online discussion board and been pen-pals ever since. He actually introduced me to ARFCOM... So, he and I have been "pen-pals" for over three years now... So, now that I have a romantic interest (whom you refer to as my "SO" - which I'm not sure if he's my "SO", cuz while we have romantic interest, not sure where this "situationship" is going to end up), my buddy is irrelevant. I mention(ed) my buddy cuz like I told my current romantic interest, if we're not having sex, then we'd just be non-romantic buddies and I'm not interested in that cuz I already have a non-romantic guy in my life, who is my "pen-pal" for three years now... Makes sense? |
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Posted: 5/29/2023 4:40:16 PM EDT
[#48]
It depends on the two people in a relationship.
For me, even if sex is amazing early in a relationship it should only get better as time goes on. My sex drive is higher than my wife’s but she still needs it a couple of times a week. And it’s great every time, quickie or long lovemaking session. If that changed I really don’t know what I would do. There’s much more to our relationship than sex but it is a basic need for me. |
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