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Posted: 9/23/2022 10:05:54 PM EDT
[#1]
I get to ride the rocket next week.
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Posted: 9/23/2022 10:07:07 PM EDT
[#2]
Mix it with bourbon of choice
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Posted: 9/23/2022 10:10:08 PM EDT
[#3]
That jug looks about half the size of the one I had to drink the other day prior to getting my bunghole professionally photographed.
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Posted: 9/23/2022 10:10:35 PM EDT
[#4]
Ah, yes. The evening of a thousand waterfalls.
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Posted: 9/23/2022 10:14:41 PM EDT
[#5]
Mix it early and keep it in the fridge. It goes down easier cold. Also chug each glass like a beer or shot. Don't let it hit your tongue. Enjoy the ride.
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Posted: 9/23/2022 10:17:13 PM EDT
[#6]
Don't watch any funny movies....
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Posted: 9/23/2022 10:19:10 PM EDT
[#7]
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Posted: 9/23/2022 10:20:21 PM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Colon blow. Prescription colon blow! I can't wait to hear the cocky yoots start to lose their dignity to old age. It happens to EVERYBODY. |
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Posted: 9/23/2022 10:27:15 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Good luck, Boomer. It's no fun but if you can ward off colon cancer it's worth it. I had my 5 year colonoscopy Wednesday. All clear for 5 more years. Opted for the Sutab pill prep this year thinking that 12 pills with 3 pints of water drank over a 2-1/2 hour period at 5 PM and repeating it at 4 AM (12 more pills and 3 pints of water over 2-1/2 hours) was better than a gallon of Go-lytely. Wrong. You get to do 3 hours of colon blow twice instead of once with the Go-lytely.  Didn't think that through.And fuck all the anti-opiate hoopla cocksuckers that have made docs scared or reluctant to give you any now. I was required to bring a driver because I would be sedated. Fucking liars. I've been asleep for my previous 4 colonoscopies. This time I had to chat with the pretty nurse running the computer and IV because I was wide awake. It was easy to talk to her about our families and such as I've known her and her family since we were kids.  The dab of something in the IV that I did get prevented any pain/discomfort but I was not sedated.  I've been more sedated after a jigger of bourbon. Man, I don't know. I don't want to be awake when they do their thing. Is that the norm now? I get upper and lower at the same time. (Bad heatburn for years with esophageal scarring). I don't think they could do an upper on a patient that is not sedated. |
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Posted: 9/23/2022 10:29:03 PM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Who prescribes that these days? There are options. Two cups of Chinese 'diet tea' will make you a 'chocolate milk dispenser '. Easier on your guts than that poison. |
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Posted: 9/23/2022 10:30:34 PM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted: The lemon flavor will make you pucker. Tasted like alka seltzer plus to me. |
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Posted: 9/23/2022 10:31:55 PM EDT
[#12]
Enjoy your new nickname, Blossom.
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Posted: 9/23/2022 10:32:14 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted: The one time you should drink and drive. But be sure you wear a diaper. |
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Posted: 9/23/2022 10:34:35 PM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted: If you switch Gatorade colors blue, yellow, green, blue, ect you can “$hit the rainbow “ go through you so fast the color changes mid pooo. Kinda like a coral snake? 
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Posted: 9/23/2022 10:38:20 PM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Wet wipes. I don't know why this is just a boomer thing. They come at you at 50 that's gen X. Honestly mine wasn't that bad. At some point you might shit yourself so plan for that. Afterwards a big greasy breakfast or lunch because you will be hungry. Go easy on that greasy food for a couple of days. The flush wipes out a lot of digestive flora and it takes a while to build back. |
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Posted: 9/23/2022 10:43:52 PM EDT
[#16]
It's also the best sleep you will never remember.
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Posted: 9/23/2022 10:47:28 PM EDT
[#17]
Just had mine done earlier this year. Told the nurse it was way too much, she said it was ok that I didn't finish it all.
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Posted: 9/23/2022 11:00:00 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Kinda like a coral snake? https://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large-5/eastern-coral-snake-micrurus-fulvius-john-serrao.jpg No. It turns into Mountain Dew. |
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Posted: 9/24/2022 2:15:40 AM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Prescription colon blow! I can't wait to hear the cocky yoots start to lose their dignity to old age. It happens to EVERYBODY. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Colon blow. Prescription colon blow! I can't wait to hear the cocky yoots start to lose their dignity to old age. It happens to EVERYBODY. Not if you simply refuse to participate in that nonsense. It only improves your chances that they might detect a specific form of cancer, but it's no guarantee. My life is miserable enough that I'm not going to go out of my way to prolong it, especially if it means subjecting myself to all that crap. I've been betting against my health with a huge life insurance policy anyway. |
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Posted: 9/24/2022 2:33:09 AM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I don't know why this is just a boomer thing. They come at you at 50 that's gen X. 45 is the new recommendation, I just had my first a couple months ago. Best sleep I've had in years. |
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Posted: 9/24/2022 2:39:49 AM EDT
[#21]
At least you got a free flavor pack. I had to go buy some lemonade Crystal Light packets for mine last spring. I'm glad I did it was the only way I was going to be able to get that stuff down. |
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Posted: 9/24/2022 2:58:25 AM EDT
[#22]
Get it really cold it helps it to go down.
Seriously dont make plans to go anywhere just relax maybe get a new book or a audiobook you can listen on your phone. It's a rough ride and the ad ointment and the wipes help, witch hazel helps to but can burn some but does soothe. One poor patient I had worked the night shift and figured he could do this at work. Poor fellow wound up he said alone cold in a stall resting his head on the metal wall. Coworkers would come check on him but he couldn't leave once the ride started. You want to get good and cleaned out you dont want to have do this again real soon. Good luck hope nothing turns. |
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Posted: 9/24/2022 4:40:09 AM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted: By the time you are half way through, it will taste so bad you will almost throw up at the thought of drinking anymore. Troof! I had to do it in '98. I actually started vomiting before I could finish the last few 8 oz. doses. Of course, the stuff I had didn't have the flavor packet. I imagine it wouldn't have helped much, though. |
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Posted: 9/24/2022 5:52:56 AM EDT
[#24]
That lemon flavor packet is a lie
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Posted: 9/24/2022 7:33:20 AM EDT
[#25]
Some of the ones around here don't do that any more.
They do clear liquid diet-->a biscodyl or two--> Split a miralax bottle up between two non red gatorade--> drink one at like 3pm and one at 9pm--> Poop--> Colonscopy |
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Posted: 9/24/2022 4:22:38 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Haven't tried that version, but at least it has a flavor pack. GoLytely (what a gyp. GoLikeAWaterfall more like) tastes like fat man sweat. It's salty and slightly greasy, and there was NO flavor pack. A friggin gallon.  I've since found the Miralax + Powerade/Gatorade prep much more palatable, and just as effective. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: By the time you are half way through, it will taste so bad you will almost throw up at the thought of drinking anymore. Haven't tried that version, but at least it has a flavor pack. GoLytely (what a gyp. GoLikeAWaterfall more like) tastes like fat man sweat. It's salty and slightly greasy, and there was NO flavor pack. A friggin gallon. I've since found the Miralax + Powerade/Gatorade prep much more palatable, and just as effective. I had Suprep a few years ago and it wasn't too bad in terms of taste. It cleared things out, but it wasn't that bad. (no cramping etc) |
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Posted: 9/24/2022 4:28:50 PM EDT
[#27]
Before the doc went in i told him he was boldly going where no man had gone before. They just shook their heads with a grin. Then i fell asleep and knew nothing afterward. The prep is the worst part.
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Posted: 9/24/2022 4:35:31 PM EDT
[#28]
Brown Lazer.... Activated.
Why do old people like lemon sp much?
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Posted: 9/24/2022 4:40:47 PM EDT
[#29]
Will bring new meaning to ESP! Extra Shit Power.
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Posted: 9/24/2022 5:19:06 PM EDT
[#30]
For the colonoscopy I did the Miralax Gatorade stuff, not too bad but the effects sucked.
For Sygmoid colon removal a gallon of some nasty salty shit, drank in one hour. Then two quarts of Gatorade the next two hours. But to skip a colostomy bag I followed the doctors orders exactly. She was right too no bag. |
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Posted: 9/24/2022 6:23:41 PM EDT
[#31]
I expected to do that this year. My primary gave me the turd in a box kit (cologuard) and I’m good for three years.
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Posted: 9/24/2022 6:39:44 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I expected to do that this year. My primary gave me the turd in a box kit (cologuard) and I’m good for three years. My doc makes me 'paint with poop' every year. You ever recycle your paint brushes? |
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Posted: 9/24/2022 7:24:07 PM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I expected to do that this year. My primary gave me the turd in a box kit (cologuard) and I’m good for three years. Depending on your insurance, screening is covered, but a secondary follow up may not be. So a colonoscopy to screen that addresses issues on the spot is free, but Cologuard and then needing to investigate a potential problem could cost you a bunch of money. Kharn |
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