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Link Posted: 4/16/2022 12:36:27 PM EDT
[#1]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By TacticalGarand44:
New Copypasta?

Dear guy who just made my burrito,

Have you ever been to earth ?

On earth, we use the word "burrito" to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I'm surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You're an idiot.

Let me further explain:


Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito's end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layers lengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don't stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can't usually dislocate their jaws, and I'm not a fucking pelican. But you must think that's how it's done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can't guess anything, because I'm pretty sure you're just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here's what:

Humans also don't eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I'LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT'S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND ME FOR A FEW MINUTES UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I'M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT'S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don't even fucking think I'm about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT'S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT'S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What's that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON'T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON'T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

in conclusion:

You're the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.
View Quote




I'm still waiting to use this one:

I am a boomer and I don't need any doodads to shoot fast.

Learn to work your trigger reset, and neither would you.

I hope that you paid $700.00 for that Faggy Re Tard trigger on the EE.

I like the boomer threads personally, they show no respect for others. Which allows my old ass to let wet behind the ears dumbasses know what I really think of them.

Young pipsqueaks are hardly ever the most dangerous man in the room.

And more often than not they know nothing about pulling tail either.

Just keep telling yourself how awesome you are.
Link Posted: 4/16/2022 1:01:35 PM EDT
[#2]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By TacticalGarand44:
New Copypasta?

Dear guy who just made my burrito,

Have you ever been to earth ?

On earth, we use the word "burrito" to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I'm surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You're an idiot.

Let me further explain:


Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito's end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layers lengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don't stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can't usually dislocate their jaws, and I'm not a fucking pelican. But you must think that's how it's done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can't guess anything, because I'm pretty sure you're just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here's what:

Humans also don't eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I'LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT'S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND ME FOR A FEW MINUTES UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I'M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT'S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don't even fucking think I'm about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT'S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT'S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What's that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON'T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON'T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

in conclusion:

You're the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.
View Quote


Preach it brother, that shit is the worst!
Link Posted: 4/16/2022 1:25:17 PM EDT
[#3]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By TacticalGarand44:
New Copypasta?

Dear guy who just made my burrito,

Have you ever been to earth ?

On earth, we use the word "burrito" to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I'm surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You're an idiot.

Let me further explain:


Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito's end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layers lengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don't stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can't usually dislocate their jaws, and I'm not a fucking pelican. But you must think that's how it's done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can't guess anything, because I'm pretty sure you're just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here's what:

Humans also don't eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I'LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT'S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND ME FOR A FEW MINUTES UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I'M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT'S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don't even fucking think I'm about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT'S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT'S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What's that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON'T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON'T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

in conclusion:

You're the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.
View Quote

Not new, its been around for about 10 years.
Link Posted: 4/16/2022 1:26:39 PM EDT
[#4]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Bollocks44:

https://i.imgur.com/yCHecFd.gif
View Quote


Attachment Attached File
Link Posted: 4/16/2022 1:47:28 PM EDT
[#5]
Link Posted: 4/16/2022 2:33:06 PM EDT
[#6]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By d16man:

Welcome to Moe's!!!
View Quote




Those are words I will never hear again, once was too much.

Link Posted: 4/16/2022 2:34:20 PM EDT
[#7]
















Link Posted: 4/16/2022 2:39:23 PM EDT
[#8]
















Link Posted: 4/16/2022 3:24:55 PM EDT
[#9]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History

Even if the bottom pic was confusing as fuck, everyone knows the answer.

Link Posted: 4/16/2022 3:33:59 PM EDT
[Last Edit: Greenfeet] [#10]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Boom_Stick:

Even if the bottom pic was confusing as fuck, everyone knows the answer.

View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Boom_Stick:

Even if the bottom pic was confusing as fuck, everyone knows the answer.



ETA: misread the post
Link Posted: 4/16/2022 3:49:55 PM EDT
[Last Edit: doc_Zox] [#11]
Depp Ewe T


Link Posted: 4/16/2022 4:10:47 PM EDT
[#12]
The M1 Garand - "The Elder Gat"
Link Posted: 4/16/2022 4:18:57 PM EDT
[#13]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Boom_Stick:

Even if the bottom pic was confusing as fuck, everyone knows the answer.

View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Boom_Stick:

Even if the bottom pic was confusing as fuck, everyone knows the answer.

Those are never funny or amusing.

.continues yelling at cloud
Link Posted: 4/16/2022 4:21:34 PM EDT
[#14]
Link Posted: 4/16/2022 5:11:27 PM EDT
[#16]
Link Posted: 4/16/2022 6:14:13 PM EDT
[#17]


Link Posted: 4/16/2022 6:46:50 PM EDT
[#18]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By beitodesstrafe:




I'm still waiting to use this one:

I am a boomer and I don't need any doodads to shoot fast.

Learn to work your trigger reset, and neither would you.

I hope that you paid $700.00 for that Faggy Re Tard trigger on the EE.

I like the boomer threads personally, they show no respect for others. Which allows my old ass to let wet behind the ears dumbasses know what I really think of them.

Young pipsqueaks are hardly ever the most dangerous man in the room.

And more often than not they know nothing about pulling tail either.

Just keep telling yourself how awesome you are.
View Quote


This new copypasta gem popped up on arf today:

Few years back had an allergic reaction to something I ate.   Hives everywhere when I got home from work which would go with the increased water intake and itchy webs of fingers.

Popped bennys through the rest of the day/weekend.

3 days later I got stung by a bee and in the micro second that I brushed the bee stinger away I managed to start having all the same reactions from food allergy.   Save for one difference.

This time the most pronounced itching was centered around the back door.   I had never in my life been more mentally aware of my balloon knot.    All I could think of was itching it...

I was itching everywhere but my butthole was a quivering mess of trying to shout at the top of it's lungs bowels, "do not ignore me!"   All from a bee sting that ever so slightly brushed the side of my rib cage.

I quickly headed for the shower leaving behind a trail of clothes.   I turned the shower on and assumed a sting bug position with the water aimed right at my sphincter.   I washed my hands with soap and proceeded to dig at my anus like one of those desert Meercat things digging in the sand looking for a grub.    Every so often there would be some relief at which point I would wash my hands more then stand up and itch the other parts of my body.   But the itch would return.   Truly a pain in the ass.

After about 10 minutes of this I rinsed off, popped a benny, then went back to the shower to gulp water from the shower head during any brief rest from my attempts at recreating an alien probe scene.


Honestly...   i wish I still had my girlfriend around.   I have never had my back door messed with by a gurlfriend or considered having my salad tossed.    But it would be a fond memory for me, given where she and I stand now, if my agony during that period of fighting an allergic reaction could have been turned into guilting the girlfriend to apply aloevera in a clock wise circular manner while I lay on my back in a diaper change position...    something equally humiliating as well as hilarious for me to hold onto til the day I die.


I look at bees entirely differently now.   No idea if the food allergy shit from the friday priorr was an issue that sensitized me or if I am now just allergic to bees as a matter of course.
Link Posted: 4/16/2022 8:25:41 PM EDT
[#19]
Link Posted: 4/16/2022 8:27:47 PM EDT
[#20]
Link Posted: 4/16/2022 9:35:46 PM EDT
[#21]
Link Posted: 4/17/2022 12:20:54 AM EDT
[#22]
Link Posted: 4/17/2022 9:35:41 AM EDT
[#23]
Happy Easter, all!


Link Posted: 4/17/2022 9:37:14 AM EDT
[#24]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Thoughtcrime:
View Quote

Holy shit is that completely accurate.
Link Posted: 4/17/2022 9:42:53 AM EDT
[#25]
Hoooman... what have you done?


Link Posted: 4/17/2022 9:57:09 AM EDT
[#26]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By M1907Sling:
Hoooman... what have you done?

https://i.imgur.com/8UUyBrr.png
View Quote

Hooooman. I love you so much. You feed me. You scratch my chin and belly. I will thank you by presenting my butt hole to your face.
Link Posted: 4/17/2022 10:04:40 AM EDT
[#27]
Link Posted: 4/17/2022 10:08:00 AM EDT
[#28]
I want to say something before this whole thing gets out of control. In 1947, in the hot desert sun, a woman gave birth to a boy in the back of old pick up. She was a whore. She left the boy at a local church. The father at the church didn't like children, but he knew that being a disciple of the bible he couldn't possibly not take the small kid. Instead he ended up taking out his frustration on the boy. At the age of three, the boy was forced to use the toilet. Let me tell you the little guy fell into his own pile of poop more than once. By the age of 5, the boy the boy was reading the bible and chopping wood for the fire. Despite the father's harsh character, the boy loved him and thought of him as his true father. By the age of seven the father had raped him three times. The boy ran away. He survived four days in the desert by eating cactus and scorpions. He was finally found by a drug cartel boss, who took the boy in. Mr. Sanchez was his name, and he was immediately impressed by the boys intelligence and grown up attitude. Mr. Sanchez provided the boy with an education at a private prep school and a nice house. The boy had sex for the first time when he was 12, the next year he graduated high school. He was the school's star running back. The boy was lost, although he liked Mr. Sanchez, he never thought of him as his father. The boy went to India, were he became a spiritual leader of a large tribe of farmers. With his power he turned the several plots that each tribe member had into a large corporate farm and became a millionaire. His assets grew as he bought into other successful start ups. He often got ahead in business with his great leadership abilities, but once in a while he used violence. This was India after all. By the time he was 22, the boy had all the money he would ever need. So he bought a yacht and traveled the world for 10 years. For 10 years he visited every major port, slept with girls from every country imaginable, and tried every drug ever made (by nature and by man). When he was 33, he was walking on a beach in French Guiana when he met a girl of Irish - Native American decent. She bared his seed. It was boy, perfect health. He moved them to Argentina, then London, and eventually Vermont. The man was 45 now, he has seen everything, accomplished everything, tried everything. He skied down the Swiss Alps, been at the North Pole, swam with hammerheads, everything! Yet he has never done one simple thing that we all take for granted every day, he met his father. He never played catch with his father, he never talked about women with his father. He never would. He died at the age of 63 when his parachute didn't open when he was base jumping from Dagger Mountain in Washington, USA. Over three thousand people attended his funeral.

I know what you are thinking. How does this story relate to me? Well I want you to go all the way back to the beginning of the story and remember the woman who gave birth to this incredible boy. You are like this woman. You are like this women because you are a whore.

Link Posted: 4/17/2022 10:11:05 AM EDT
[#29]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By crownvic96:


View Quote


LOL

Link Posted: 4/17/2022 10:55:04 AM EDT
[#30]
Link Posted: 4/17/2022 11:15:43 AM EDT
[#31]










Link Posted: 4/17/2022 12:51:32 PM EDT
[#32]
Link Posted: 4/17/2022 1:01:57 PM EDT
[#33]
Link Posted: 4/17/2022 1:26:49 PM EDT
[#34]
My own contribution...

@elonmusk  



Link Posted: 4/17/2022 1:55:55 PM EDT
[#35]
Link Posted: 4/17/2022 1:58:32 PM EDT
[#36]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By 1057:
https://www.ar15.com/media/mediaFiles/299647/25502DD6-C08E-4DFF-9E4A-27DA9FCF9A70-2352387.jpg
View Quote
Clear violation of the cocks per room rule.
Link Posted: 4/17/2022 3:15:46 PM EDT
[#37]
Link Posted: 4/17/2022 5:50:45 PM EDT
[#38]
Link Posted: 4/17/2022 7:30:00 PM EDT
[#39]
Link Posted: 4/17/2022 9:04:58 PM EDT
[#40]
Link Posted: 4/17/2022 9:22:54 PM EDT
[#41]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History


That is fucking disgusting.
Link Posted: 4/17/2022 10:09:53 PM EDT
[#42]
Link Posted: 4/17/2022 10:14:40 PM EDT
[#43]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Notcalifornialegal:
Originally Posted By crownvic96:




LOL

https://www.ar15.com/media/mediaFiles/219476/FQYdELZX0AA9eSb-2349989.png

Eddie Money came to mind before I scrolled to see the bottom line.

"Take me home, toad knight"
Link Posted: 4/17/2022 10:23:52 PM EDT
[#44]
Ban.
Link Posted: 4/17/2022 10:36:18 PM EDT
[#45]
Link Posted: 4/17/2022 10:40:31 PM EDT
[#46]
Link Posted: 4/18/2022 12:34:48 AM EDT
[#47]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History


In before the step-warship memes.  
Link Posted: 4/18/2022 7:50:41 AM EDT
[#48]
Link Posted: 4/18/2022 8:28:50 AM EDT
[#49]
This thread title could easily be switched to "Less funny by the Day".


Link Posted: 4/18/2022 9:13:15 AM EDT
[#50]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History



I don’t get it.  I recognize Alex Jones but that’s about it.
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