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Posted: 8/26/2024 7:12:35 PM EDT
[#1]
On a recent trip, I was driving "safe" to avoid her reactions. Until a truck damn near killed and I said fuck this and started driving like I wanted us alive.
She tensed up one time too many and I told her to "shut up and let me fucking drive before you got us killed. I see the fucking car."   She pouted and started reading her book. 
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WV, USA
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Posted: 8/26/2024 7:13:10 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By thor_ducati: My usual response "are you fucking Amish?" Or "how's your first ride in an automobile going?" The great irony, as we're getting driven around Mexico by stunt driver wannabees not a single peep or reaction. |
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BHS
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Posted: 8/26/2024 7:14:04 PM EDT
[#3]
My wife will freak the fuck out if I don't use paragraphs.
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Posted: 8/26/2024 7:14:44 PM EDT
[#4]
My Mom. She rolled Holy. When my dad--who was a lousy driver anyways would start sliding in the ice with the station wagon and bald tires...."LORD *Jesus* take me home!!! Into your hands I commit my spirt!!!"
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Posted: 8/26/2024 7:16:49 PM EDT
[#5]
lol
She calms right down after I backhand her. 
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Posted: 8/26/2024 7:16:55 PM EDT
[#6]
Mine will do it sometimes, grabbing the arm rest and digging her feet into the floor mat.
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NC, USA
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Posted: 8/26/2024 7:18:28 PM EDT
[#7]
Known her 43 years. She hates to drive and I drive almost everywhere. She has put 15K miles on her car in five years. We've been in one accident in all that time, not my fault, no injuries, no airbags deployed.
Every meme about a death grip on her door handle at least every five minutes is absolutely true. |
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Posted: 8/26/2024 7:21:24 PM EDT
[#8]
lol, no.
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Posted: 8/26/2024 7:22:44 PM EDT
[#9]
Yep, my wife is just like that. The funny thing is, she drives no differently than I do. I think she just doesn't like the feeling of not being in control of the car.
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Posted: 8/26/2024 7:22:52 PM EDT
[#10]
I'm not bad. Usually we're both cussing at other drivers.
My MIL holy hell, she's awful at side seat driving. Think clear road, good visibility, light traffic, and a car a quarter mile in the distance has it's brake lights on, she'll grab the driver's right arm and yell "WATCH OUT HE'S TURNING!". |
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Posted: 8/26/2024 7:24:37 PM EDT
[Last Edit: NotIssued]
[#11]
Nope, never.
Course we're divorced now, but the empty car is about as noisy. But yeah, next time just pull over and let her do it. Then walk home and get the other car, cuz it sounds like you haven't made it out of the driveway yet with her. |
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TX, USA
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Posted: 8/26/2024 7:25:40 PM EDT
[#12]
My grandmother did that when my grandfather drove.
My mother did that when my father drove. My wife does that when I drive. |
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Posted: 8/26/2024 7:27:00 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By bologna: Get her a "chill pill" 
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FL, USA
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Posted: 8/26/2024 7:27:35 PM EDT
[#14]
There's a comedy skip about my little helper. I don't know how I possibly drive when she's not in the car. Or for the 30 years before we were married.
Course she makes me nervous too. Especially when she's using your phone illegally while driving and drifts off the road. I used to do almost all the driving then I started to take some medications that affected me a little bit so I started to let her drive. It will sure wasn't easy at first. Now I'm off those drugs and I still let her drive a good bit of the time because it's easier than listening to her |
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NC, USA
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Posted: 8/26/2024 7:29:37 PM EDT
[#15]
Originally Posted By markfall: As long as I've known her and driven her anywhere, she can't seem to help herself. Brake lights 200 yards in front of us? She's digging her heels into the floorboards and grabbing the center console and door handle for dear life. Someone drifts into my lane on the highway a bit, she starts yelling my name in a "pay the fuck attention" tone. Someone jumps their turn at the 4 way stop after I've started moving, "WATCHOUT!!!!!". Today we are pulling onto the main road off the side road we live on and someone turns left off the main road onto the side road and cuts into our lane. Guy was probably three feet into our lane as he whipped in. Loses her ever loving mind. Tells me "You were pulling out in front of him!". I can't, guys. I'm supposed to drive into NYC tomorrow with her, and I'm not mentally prepared for it. I've told here over, and over, and over that when she does this, I assume someone is about to die, and I'm worried one day I'm going to jerk the wheel in response to her screaming bloody murder, and I'm going to get us all killed. She's neurotic for sure, and I deal with it. This is too much though. The thing is I am always the driver when we're together, and I've never had an accident to her one. Debating if I should hand her the keys for the trip tomorrow and let her handle the whole thing. Am I alone in this? Anyone have similar issues? Thanks for coming to my vent session. Duct tape, rope, trunk. That will solve your problem. |
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Posted: 8/26/2024 7:34:56 PM EDT
[Last Edit: Shasta_Doug]
[#16]
GF’s first husband died of his own doing while driving and lack of attention. I get it a lot from her and it’s hard to challenge her on it without the past being dredged up. I do try to drive as smoothly as possible but do get tripped up when an a-hole does something that I have to react to quickly.
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NM, USA
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Posted: 8/26/2024 7:38:50 PM EDT
[#17]
Originally Posted By markfall: As long as I've known her and driven her anywhere, she can't seem to help herself. Brake lights 200 yards in front of us? She's digging her heels into the floorboards and grabbing the center console and door handle for dear life. Someone drifts into my lane on the highway a bit, she starts yelling my name in a "pay the fuck attention" tone. Someone jumps their turn at the 4 way stop after I've started moving, "WATCHOUT!!!!!". Today we are pulling onto the main road off the side road we live on and someone turns left off the main road onto the side road and cuts into our lane. Guy was probably three feet into our lane as he whipped in. Loses her ever loving mind. Tells me "You were pulling out in front of him!". I can't, guys. I'm supposed to drive into NYC tomorrow with her, and I'm not mentally prepared for it. I've told here over, and over, and over that when she does this, I assume someone is about to die, and I'm worried one day I'm going to jerk the wheel in response to her screaming bloody murder, and I'm going to get us all killed. She's neurotic for sure, and I deal with it. This is too much though. The thing is I am always the driver when we're together, and I've never had an accident to her one. Debating if I should hand her the keys for the trip tomorrow and let her handle the whole thing. Am I alone in this? Anyone have similar issues? Thanks for coming to my vent session. We are married to the same damn woman. After 20 years she has learned to keep quiet but she still presses the floor when she wants to stop. I can't turn my signal on to change lanes without her checking the side mirrors. It is way to annoying! |
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Posted: 8/26/2024 7:38:57 PM EDT
[#18]
Just once. Driving up Pike's Peak. Upper part of road wasn't paved and no guardrails. She was sitting on the side where she could look down.
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Posted: 8/26/2024 7:40:33 PM EDT
[#19]
I freak out when riding with my wife. Doesn't happen that often though. Thankfully.
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Posted: 8/26/2024 7:43:41 PM EDT
[#20]
Mine used to be BAD about it.
I finally got fed up and told her the next time she did that shit, I was gonna take her for a REAL ride. Well, it didn't take long, her habit was just too hard to break I guess so later that night after we closed the bar up, I took her for the ride she was promised on the way home. She's a lot better now. 
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FL, USA
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Posted: 8/26/2024 7:44:06 PM EDT
[#21]
Guess I got lucky, between managing the kids, giving me directions (I mostly already know the way, but assigning her the task is a useful distraction and she likes to know how many minutes we are), or yacking to her mom shes oblivious to her surroundings in the passenger seat or my driving skill.
But she cannot "read the room" and not understand like say why Ive gone quiet to focus on driving in a stressful situation (like say blinding rainstorm). "wife, do you see how terrible the weather is, please be quiet, silence the kids, and let me drive!" Or she's hassling me about being late, I prefer to arrive on time if shes not getting somewhere 20-30 minutes early we are "running late" (see above about always checking how far we are from the destination). But its a blue moon she comments on my driving. |
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BHS
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Posted: 8/26/2024 7:50:50 PM EDT
[#22]
If the person who knows you best acts like that when you’re driving, maybe you should drive better.
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Posted: 8/26/2024 7:53:33 PM EDT
[#23]
She doesn't freak she just tries to give directions and critques my driving until we get out of the driveway. |
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VA, USA
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Posted: 8/26/2024 8:00:25 PM EDT
[#24]
If my wife did that, she knows she would be finding her own ride home.
Once you allow that shit, it will be with you forever. |
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Posted: 8/26/2024 8:07:31 PM EDT
[#25]
Nope. My wife is not one to freak out during stressful situations.
At most she will just say “I don’t like that”. |
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IL, USA
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Posted: 8/26/2024 8:20:24 PM EDT
[#26]
she white knuckles and flinches when a car 1/2 mile ahead taps it's brakes
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Posted: 8/26/2024 8:23:21 PM EDT
[#27]
My wife has acclimated to my driving after 15 years. She drove an M6 ZL1 before we had our son so she likes going fast. No complaints here.
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Posted: 8/26/2024 8:24:00 PM EDT
[#28]
My wife shared this with me recently. Spot on.
 Attached File |
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Posted: 8/26/2024 8:24:23 PM EDT
[#29]
Only when I drove through overflow on the rivers and lakes.
She does not like overflow. |
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Posted: 8/26/2024 8:25:46 PM EDT
[#30]
It's like I don't know who this woman is anymore.
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USA
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Posted: 8/26/2024 8:26:48 PM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By GreenGoose: Women shouldn’t be allowed to drive or vote. Who knew? Me. I knew. I always knew. One of two things the Saudi's got right. The other being how they handle the media. Ginsu mothafucka! |
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Posted: 8/26/2024 8:28:52 PM EDT
[Last Edit: SAE]
[#32]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Brob324: Me. I knew. I always knew. One of two things the Saudi's got right. The other being how they handle the media. Ginsu mothafucka! Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Brob324: Originally Posted By GreenGoose: Women shouldn’t be allowed to drive or vote. Who knew? Me. I knew. I always knew. One of two things the Saudi's got right. The other being how they handle the media. Ginsu mothafucka! Cut off the heifers other hand because she finger fucked the gear shift again. I'll bet word gets around about that shit as well. "Delilah is now missing the other hand too. May God be praised."   Attached File |
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OH, USA
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Posted: 8/26/2024 8:30:40 PM EDT
[#33]
My wife has some issue where she just has to be the one driving, majority of the time if I am driving it’s because she has been drinking.
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WI, USA
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Posted: 8/26/2024 8:31:59 PM EDT
[#34]
I’ve lived in this city for the last 34 years. I know my way around.
The first 3-4 years we were married, if I didn’t take the route to our destination that she wanted, she’d have a shit fit that “You need to learn how to drive.” Like, we’d get to our destination and she’d still be salty for hours after. Finally threatened to leave her over it. That stopped that behavior. |
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NC, USA
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Posted: 8/26/2024 8:34:26 PM EDT
[#35]
My wife is offensive driver.
She drives to offend people. She grew up in France and still drives like she is in some sort of shitty Peugeot in the French Grand Prix. However, she has never gotten in an accident or gotten a ticket. It took a few years before I got her to stop reaching over and blowing the horn while I was driving and someone pulled out in front of me. |
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Posted: 8/26/2024 8:36:39 PM EDT
[#36]
I loved my 3 series BMW as something about being in that car put the wife to sleep and I didn't have to listen to her freaking out.
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Posted: 8/26/2024 8:39:07 PM EDT
[Last Edit: Some_Beach]
[#37]
Never. I am a much better driver. She knows it. I drive most everywhere. On the odd occasion she drives me somewhere, like to drop off my truck for tires or an inspection, I'm the one critiquing her driving. Mostly because as a passenger, sitting in the passenger seat, of a Yukon, I'm looking down the yellow line. I'm talking bout being centered, right down the yellow line. With a good deal of vehicle still to my right. I don't know how there are still tires / wheels / rotors / fenders on the passenger side.
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Posted: 8/26/2024 8:41:22 PM EDT
[Last Edit: SAE]
[#38]
My wife is like, "Jim, what is the matter with you?"
I mean, this is bullshit dude. This isn't "Bullet'' and you damn sure ain't Steve McQueen you idiot! Slow it down!"'
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MI, USA
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Posted: 8/26/2024 8:43:03 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryI find, in general, that women don't really have a feel for the performance envelope a car is capable of. Most boys have it figured out by age 17. |
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Posted: 8/26/2024 8:44:36 PM EDT
[#40]
Not at all. She never complains. And I took 14 minutes off a Google maps trip one time that was supposed to be 2 hours and 30 minutes.
Granted maps isn't always exact. But I was cruising. |
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Posted: 8/26/2024 8:45:09 PM EDT
[#41]
No. The real fun part was jumping the old suburban when the kids would giggle and she wanted to scold me but just couldn’t.
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PA, USA
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Posted: 8/26/2024 8:45:12 PM EDT
[#42]
get Jeff Gordon to do a gag drive with her.
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Posted: 8/26/2024 8:50:59 PM EDT
[Last Edit: SAE]
[#43]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Larsonous: get Jeff Gordon to do a gag drive with her. FAFO/MGTOW |
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Posted: 8/26/2024 8:54:20 PM EDT
[#44]
My wife did the freak out noises a few times before we got married. I told her when she does that, it distracts me from driving and I am looking for someone that is going to hit us. That it is going to cause an accident.
She stopped. I couldn't drive with that kind of BS going on. |
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Posted: 8/26/2024 8:55:43 PM EDT
[#45]
Nope
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OR, USA
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Posted: 8/26/2024 9:08:10 PM EDT
[#46]
Mine does it all the time I turn and remind her of all the times that she isnt with me and i dont die
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Posted: 8/26/2024 9:12:30 PM EDT
[#47]
My wife too. I don't get either, I commute 200 miles a day and have for years without any problems. I have a CDL A with HAZMAT, I'm licensed thru work to drive all kinds of crazy shit and she still acts like I'm a new driver.
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Posted: 8/26/2024 9:17:29 PM EDT
[#48]
I struggle with my husband's driving. He's too aggressive and he has a quicker reaction time than I do. I was also taught to drive like I have the queen of England drinking tea in the back seat which Camillia would have tea all over herself if she sat in the back while my husband drives.
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Posted: 8/26/2024 9:19:45 PM EDT
[#49]
Dated a girl in college who started panting like a dog and going EEEEH EEEH EEEEH every time I was coming to a red light. I took her right back home. I thought I'm not putting up with this shit no matter how big those 19 year old tittes are!
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Posted: 8/26/2024 9:21:31 PM EDT
[#50]
Sometimes she will assume I don’t see something and say “watch out!” Which is worse than saying nothing.
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