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Posted: 12/18/2017 7:58:08 PM EDT
[#1]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
How does it manifest itself? 
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Posted: 12/18/2017 7:58:56 PM EDT
[#2]
Chin up man , it sucks now but it will get better, find the best lawyer you can , I used a friend of mine , played in a blues band together , he is without a doubt one of the best drummers around , his divorce lawyer skills sucked tho
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:00:27 PM EDT
[#3]
Quoted:
I hate to air my dirty laundry on here but I would like to get some advice. After 27 years of marriage, and 6 years after the boob job, she doesn't want to be a wife anymore, she wants freedom. She wants to remain friends and I still love her but she is shattering my dreams. I am not a perfect husband but I have always provided above and beyond for the family. We have decent cars that are paid for, a paid off house, and money in the bank. We are in our late 40s and my dream was to retire a little early and enjoy life. Now I am not certain what that dream should be. Probably going to get a lawyer soon and draw up separation papers. Any input would be appreciated. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:01:08 PM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
If it were me, I'd be trying to get some personal time with her phone to find evidence. And/or hire a PI. If she's cheating it won't go well for her in court. Best of luck to you OP. Sorry to hear OP, find a good attorney and listen to his advice. You're gonna get a shit ton of really bad suggestions here. Good luck. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:02:05 PM EDT
[#5]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I have GOT to get my wife a boob job. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:03:10 PM EDT
[#6]
Man marriage sounds so fun!
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:03:49 PM EDT
[#7]
I don't feel sorry for you OP
It's just divorce, they happen all the time. Now stop being emotional and make good decisions Your're either winning or losing, there is no amicable separation.That bitch is your enemy now. Act accordingly. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:04:06 PM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Lawyer up, hide your firearms, get suspense orders on all joint accounts, and eject. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:04:33 PM EDT
[#9]
find a 22 year old mistress.
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:04:38 PM EDT
[#10]
You have done well OP, but doing the right thing by the family is boring to some women.
Move on and be happy. Prepare yourself to say “I told you so” when she calls a few years from now all unhappy and broke. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:04:42 PM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Cheating might not matter, depending on state. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
If it were me, I'd be trying to get some personal time with her phone to find evidence. And/or hire a PI. If she's cheating it won't go well for her in court. Best of luck to you OP. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:05:14 PM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Divorce is always about one of two things, sex or money. Which one is it? |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:05:18 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I have GOT to get my wife a boob job. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:05:40 PM EDT
[#14]
Quoted:
Anyone that asks GD for divorce advice ......well, you know. Quoted:
Do you get to keep half of the tits that you paid for? it's only fair. I'm sorry for your misfortune. Quoted:
Hiding marital assets is stupid fucking advice. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:07:10 PM EDT
[#15]
Get lawyer.
Do not be her friend. You will end up doing all the shit you hate (emotional outlet) and not getting anything in return (the boobs you paid for). Once you've filed, take your shit and leave. Never look back. Let go of her completely. Don't call her, don't text. If you need to communicate, it better be bad enough that paying your lawyer to do the talking would be the way to handle it. If she's brought it up to you, there's nothing you will do to win her back. And she's one step ahead of you. She's probably already got her next cock all lined up too.....but I bet he's an asshole she finds intriguing because bad boy....and she probably thinks you will play the fool and deal with the fallout. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:07:36 PM EDT
[#16]
I don't have a lick of experience in this so I have nothing more to add than my condolences and good luck. Hell of a long run to throw away...
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:08:18 PM EDT
[#17]
Op is in Utah. You're about to take it dry up the ass so hard your throat is going to be rubbed raw.
My advice is don't hire my lawyers. Hopefully you are not in SL county. On the up side-there is life after divorce. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:08:37 PM EDT
[#18]
A lot of divorces are filed as no fault or that the marriage irretrievably broken. But for sure, you need to consult an attorney asap. When you have been married a number of years and you have accumulated assets ,the whole thing is about division of assets.
Think with your brain and not your heart. It becomes a business decision. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:09:36 PM EDT
[#19]
Don't play the role of the sucker trying to be her friend. She will only take advantage of you.
Marriages are about love. Divorces are about money. Be smart, get a lawyer, and let him do his job. Me and my ex wife didn't make it 2 years after her boob job. You lasted longer than most. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:09:38 PM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Unfortunately, many of the guys (me included) are speaking out of experience. I asked this question during the mediation. It did not sit well. Apparently there is a law that excludes this, but my point was made. Before she mentioned divorce, she probably made arrangements as to proof of marital assets. Even if you go sell shit right now, the lawyer will make her aware of it and YOU will have to pay for a professional in EACH group of items to analyze and estimate the actual worth, not what you sold it for. Talk about a bad idea. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Anyone that asks GD for divorce advice ......well, you know. Quoted:
Do you get to keep half of the tits that you paid for? it's only fair. I'm sorry for your misfortune. Quoted:
Hiding marital assets is stupid fucking advice. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:10:27 PM EDT
[#21]
Your new dream should be protecting any assets you have and diddle blondes 1/2 your age.
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:13:57 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
When ever a someone says they still want to be friends, that's just code for "I want to use you" |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:15:43 PM EDT
[#23]
OP,
Eject immediately. You can never trust her again. Get a lawyer now. I'm divorced after 23 years. First couple of years tough because of the legal fight and I miss my kids. Other than that, thank God I’m done with that bitch. PM me if you want to talk. It will get better. I guarantee it. (Think little Italian chicks with big knockers). :) DC ETA: Real ones, not the silicone stripper titties, unless you like those too. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:17:38 PM EDT
[#24]
In UT file first as the Plaintiff. Seriously. It at least gives you control over the pace if not the outcome.
UT is an "equal division" state. This means she gets half your stuff including pensions although my company told them to piss up a rope that benefits only go to pensioners. Mediation is $$$ and a scam to line the pockets of former judges. Utah is a Huge Alimony state. Anyone married over Ten years is going to get raped. Utah is FULL of groups of helpful neighbors who have helped your wife understand the whole process-including the "he is scaring me and has guns" card that will get you escorted from your house. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:18:03 PM EDT
[#25]
Quoted:
I hate to air my dirty laundry on here but I would like to get some advice. After 27 years of marriage, and 6 years after the boob job, she doesn't want to be a wife anymore, she wants freedom. She wants to remain friends and I still love her but she is shattering my dreams. I am not a perfect husband but I have always provided above and beyond for the family. We have decent cars that are paid for, a paid off house, and money in the bank. We are in our late 40s and my dream was to retire a little early and enjoy life. Now I am not certain what that dream should be. Probably going to get a lawyer soon and draw up separation papers. Any input would be appreciated. My best advice is to show her what "not being your wife anymore feels like". Regard her only when you have to. Treat her as a necessary evil you must endure until it's over. She wants to be "friends" because she doesn't want to give up what you bring to the relationship. She wants to keep all your best "coming" while she gives her "best" to someone else. Do what's called the 180 and turn away from her. If you want to stay married it's your only chance. You won't be able to "nice" her back. Also, I'm sorry about this. This shit is excruciating. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:20:49 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
If it were me, I'd be trying to get some personal time with her phone to find evidence. And/or hire a PI. If she's cheating it won't go well for her in court. Best of luck to you OP. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:22:22 PM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Lawyer up, hide your firearms, get suspense orders on all joint accounts, and eject. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:22:31 PM EDT
[#28]
GOOD lawyer. See a few, and ask who you should avoid. The same 2 or 3 names will come up.
Voucher your firearms with your P.D. if you think some sort or accusations might be made. Protect yourself at all times! You have a dick... therefore you are WRONG in any court of law within the United States. Never bad mouth the wife to the kids. ALWAYS take EVERY opportunity to spend time with them. FOR YOURSELF and THEM. Not for your court case. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:22:32 PM EDT
[#29]
Sorry OP.
At that age, there is a very good chance menopause has a lot to do with it. It also doesn't matter WHY she wants a divorce, when most woman speak it, it's to late to do anything about it but to protect yourself. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:27:50 PM EDT
[#30]
You want to destroy my life and dreams, yet still be friends? I don't fucking think so.
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:28:51 PM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
LOL Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
If it were me, I'd be trying to get some personal time with her phone to find evidence. And/or hire a PI. If she's cheating it won't go well for her in court. Best of luck to you OP. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:32:21 PM EDT
[#32]
GET A LAWYER
DO NOT PASS GO GET A LAWYER PEPPER YOUR ANGUS GET A LAWYER DO NOT WAIT GET A LAWYER SHIT IS COMING GET A LAWYER 
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:32:39 PM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Cheating might not matter, depending on state. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
If it were me, I'd be trying to get some personal time with her phone to find evidence. And/or hire a PI. If she's cheating it won't go well for her in court. Best of luck to you OP. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:32:56 PM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Depends, some women don't know the combo to the safe. Lawyers aren't dumb. This is what they do. Never think that you're a special pony and can outsmart the courts that ALL OF US have already tried to beat |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:34:03 PM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
More likely it serves her desire to not be the bad guy. She wronged you but if you stay her friend, then her ego doesn't suffer the insult of her being a bad person. At any rate, a couple who comes to the conclusion that their marriage is over TOGETHER can be friends (I know some mature, fortunate people like this). But it's not possible or healthy to be friends with the person who threw away their long term marriage when the other partner was not an equal part in that decision. Good luck OP. You seem pretty mature in how you're dealing with this. You don't really need most of the useless GD advice that you'll get. Hopefully, you'll find something much better on the other side of this. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:34:10 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
“She wants to remain friends” Let me finish that for you..... “until our divorce is final” OP, you have now entered into the business phase of your imploding marriage. DON’T let your guard down. DON’T use the same attorney DON’T bargain shop for an attorney DON’T listen to 98% of the advice you are getting ready to get here Been through this. Stay strong, you are young and there is a hell of a life waiting for you on the other side of this. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:35:11 PM EDT
[#37]
1. Get a vasectomy
2. Focus on yourself 3. Begin rebuilding your finances 4. Never marry again 5. If you are so lucky as to find someone who is loaded, disregard #4 
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:35:27 PM EDT
[#38]
Sorry brother,My prayers will be with you.
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:35:45 PM EDT
[#39]
Go to the gym, get in shape, fuck younger bitches.
If you manage to save it now, you'll just be going through the same shit in a few years. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:37:26 PM EDT
[#40]
She promised that she would not ask me for any of my gun stuff, and I have a decent collection with lots of reloading gear.
Trust me, she is not cheating, but I think she wants the life of some of her younger girlfriends. All she asked for is what she is entitled to by law. Is that 50% of the assets? If so, that is going to hurt even though I have been the primary breadwinner for most of the years, bringing home at least 75% of the income, at times 100%. I realize that that it isn't all about income but I also do a lot around the house, helping wherever I can. I wanted financial freedom and she wants to be free of being a wife. Kids are grown so child support is not an issue. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:38:06 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
IF the OP has evidence of cheating, he should take the offensive and file an at fault divorce for adultery. The courts will take that into consideration when determining alimony. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:39:24 PM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
She promised that she would not ask me for any of my gun stuff, and I have a decent collection with lots of reloading gear. Trust me, she is not cheating, but I think she wants the life of some of her younger girlfriends. All she asked for is what she is entitled to by law. Is that 50% of the assets? If so, that is going to hurt even though I have been the primary breadwinner for most of the years, bringing home at least 75% of the income, at times 100%. I realize that that it isn't all about income but I also do a lot around the house, helping wherever I can. I wanted financial freedom and she wants to be free of being a wife. Kids are grown so child support is not an issue. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:39:45 PM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Lawyer up, hide your firearms, get suspense orders on all joint accounts, and eject. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:39:48 PM EDT
[#44]
I'm sorry to hear all of that OP. That must be the worst thing to hear. My last relationship ended by her asking me to "have a talk". I walked in and asked if she was breaking up with me. She said yes, so I said, get it over with. I walked out and spent time with friends and made new friends with people who wanted to be around me. Hopefully you can get control of the situation.
Out of curiosity, what happens if he does hide his guns at a friend's house or "sells" them cheap? Why is that such a problem? Just for spite, ask for half the boob-job. See what they say  . If they're not paid off...maybe see if they can be...repossessed? 
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:40:56 PM EDT
[#45]
Sorry to hear that. I went through the samething myself.
On the lawyer, be sure to get one who knows about family law. In my little sis' divorce, she hired a lawyer but not one that practices in family law, and I think she got the short shrift of things; this is like going to cardiologist/heart doc for a foot problem. Be double sure to keep up your exercise regimen, it will help fight depression should it set in. ========= Just a side comment, I have been on ARFCOM for a number of years now, and this subject pops up fairly often. I find that most women are very self-conscious about their looks. I was walking in my local indoor mall, and noticed that there are 5 women's intermiate appearl shops, plus a Victoria's secret. And there was numerous stores selling women's makeup. I am sure that the women's comsmetics industry is probably worth multiple billions of dollars. In addition to the usual American and Europena firms there are now Japanese and Korea companies getting into the business. US women must be the most insecure people on the planet. I think a boob job gives women a new level of self-confidence and empowerment. The women are trying to attain sense of beauty that is defined by Madison Ave, ie artificial and impossible to attain. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:41:52 PM EDT
[#46]
Sorry brother...
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:44:38 PM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
who's getting custody of the twins? |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:45:28 PM EDT
[#48]
Quoted:
I hate to air my dirty laundry on here but I would like to get some advice. After 27 years of marriage, and 6 years after the boob job, she doesn't want to be a wife anymore, she wants freedom. She wants to remain friends and I still love her but she is shattering my dreams. I am not a perfect husband but I have always provided above and beyond for the family. We have decent cars that are paid for, a paid off house, and money in the bank. We are in our late 40s and my dream was to retire a little early and enjoy life. Now I am not certain what that dream should be. Probably going to get a lawyer soon and draw up separation papers. Any input would be appreciated. Get a lawyer tomorrow. Follow the lawyers advice. Sadly from this point forward, you can no longer trust the woman that was your partner for 27 years. It is soulcrushing but true. Be strong. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:46:15 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
... If you manage to save it now, you'll just be going through the same shit in a few years. Everybody should check their jurisdiction to determine what alimony is typically owed based on years of marriage. It varies all over the map. In some jx's it's LIFE once the marriage has lasted a certain number of years. |
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Posted: 12/18/2017 8:46:40 PM EDT
[#50]
Have your lawyer demand the boobs back - or just take them while she sleeps.
Good luck! |
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