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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:35:38 PM EDT
[#1]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Damn. I gave the lady that owns the sushi place we’ve been going to for 15 years 100% tip on last 4 to go orders just because they closed indoor dining and I don’t want to see them shut down. Guess I need to ask her out to dinner.  If she obliges, you should take her out to a different sushi place. |
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:36:00 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Its carry out only here now. Is there a foolproof way to lure her to my van? Chloroform will work, if by “lure” you mean “drag” |
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:36:54 PM EDT
[#3]
 Train - Marry Me |
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:37:09 PM EDT
[#4]
Sounds bitter. So, someone stole your girl, then?
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:37:35 PM EDT
[#5]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Hookers are way, way cheaper. They’re all the same. You pay them to stay or to leave. |
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:37:58 PM EDT
[#6]
lol
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:38:00 PM EDT
[#7]
Also wear a fedora.
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:38:22 PM EDT
[#8]
A joint, a pack of Marlboro Lights, a 12 pack of Bud Light and a fire to sit by (when her kids are at her mom's) is way cheaper waitress bait OP.
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:38:35 PM EDT
[#9]
Weird fuckin' thread.
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:39:08 PM EDT
[#10]
OP likes his women to smell like cheeseburger and fries.
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:39:19 PM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Sounds bitter. So, someone stole your girl, then? Oh shit, good call |
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:39:42 PM EDT
[#12]
I'm curious what constitutes a "huge" tip after back to back $500 tips?
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:40:11 PM EDT
[#13]
I usually just ejaculate into the bill and assume they'll get the drift.
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:40:41 PM EDT
[#14]
For that money you can get married
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:40:56 PM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Also wear a fedora. Is this the OP?  Mad kid talks about fedora haters |
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:40:58 PM EDT
[#16]
Thats way too much money OP... How about just having the balls to ask her out? No tip required!
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:41:00 PM EDT
[#17]
THIS is why I'm a GD rat.
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:41:02 PM EDT
[#18]
The only tip i'm giving is...well...you know. It's a big tip if you know what I mean.
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:41:05 PM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Hookers are way, way cheaper. Maybe so but there are no hookers in ND. Shit, can hardly find a strip club anymore. |
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:41:08 PM EDT
[#20]
I have a better idea.
Get a large wad of theatrical money. Place a few genuine bills on the outside of the wad. When you pay the waitress, pull out the wad of bills and pay her. And before you leave just give her a card with your phone number She will contact you, but you should wait a day or so before returning her text or her call. After that just tell her where to meet you. |
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:41:15 PM EDT
[#21]
Damn, so I gotta tip $1500 or more? I could fly to Reno and have sex with one of the better looking girls at the Mustang Ranch for that plus it’s a 100% lock and I don’t have to try and make bullshit small talk.
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:41:27 PM EDT
[#22]
Quoted: ...tip her a cool $2-500.00. Just be cool. ...tip at least $2-500.00, again, just be cool. ... Tip YUGE. The next time you see her, ask her if she'd like to have dinner with you. $500 (tip #1) + $500 (tip #2) + $500 (Tip HUGE) + dinner for 2 at a nice place (and don't forget to tip that waitress) = $2000 +/- Just to get laid? Hookers and blow wouldn't set you back that much. |
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:41:36 PM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I'll never have "throw $1000 at every chick I'd like to go on a date with" money, so I'll stick to just not being a fat creepy fuck. Well, tossing 1k + to a chick hoping for a "date" is basically trying to make a hooker out of a waitress. OP might be better off hiring hookers. 1k will probably get one with most of her teeth intact. |
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:42:06 PM EDT
[#24]
$2.00
Is a pretty big tip to give just to impress a waitress  Maybe start smaller |
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:42:26 PM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Chloroform will work, if by “lure” you mean “drag” Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Its carry out only here now. Is there a foolproof way to lure her to my van? Chloroform will work, if by “lure” you mean “drag” Curbside delivery! 
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:42:34 PM EDT
[#26]
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:42:37 PM EDT
[#27]
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:43:14 PM EDT
[#28]
You'll have more luck tipping Chinese lady at massage parlor
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:43:18 PM EDT
[#29]
Were '18ers ever a hassled class like the '13ers and '20ers with underscores? Based on this shitpost, they should have been.
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:43:43 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Bonjour, m’lady. 
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:43:44 PM EDT
[#31]
I can pay a Toronto stripper a hell of a lot less to nosh on my flesh baton and not deal with any long term drama.
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:44:09 PM EDT
[#32]
then she sits down on the other side of your booth and starts telling you about her 5 kids, and one of her kids is pregnant already
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:44:16 PM EDT
[#33]
I respect waitresses, I really do, but they are not princesses of some Eastern European country. Just have a good job, be in decent shape and be ready to deal with baby mama issues and you would probably bat around 75% with them as is.
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:44:22 PM EDT
[#34]
Must be an Alaska thing
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:44:35 PM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I heard that if you put your dick in a blender but only hit the mix button instead of chop. Nothing bad will happen! If you like penis coladas and getting of your wang |
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:45:10 PM EDT
[#36]
"Sympin' ain't easy"
 Boyz II Men - Sympin'' Ain''t Easy (1992) Music Video (VHS Capture) |
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:45:33 PM EDT
[#37]
If you're wealthy enough to afford tipping a waitress... on the *OFF CHANCE* that she's willing to fuck to continue getting tipped by you... you don't need to use tactics like this.
You could be the most autistic, unkempt, ugly mother fucker... and if you can afford to throw what sounds like $3000 as a pickup attempt, then you're wealthy enough to attract a woman on the SOLE BASIS of being wealthy. Oh, and if by some chance you marry that woman, there is almost a ZERO chance she *WONT* divorce your ass and leave you half as wealthy or less than you were before. This is a stupid tactic. And honestly, if this is just to get laid and not for a long term relationship... you'd be better off flying to Nevada and paying a Prostitute. ETA: And honestly, I would say this has about a 5% chance of actually succeeding in getting a date. |
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:45:37 PM EDT
[#38]
Then you find out they have several kids...go for it.
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:45:45 PM EDT
[#39]
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:45:58 PM EDT
[#40]
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:46:01 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Tipping -$498 is not going to impress her. |
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:46:40 PM EDT
[#42]
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:47:40 PM EDT
[#43]
I don't think my wife would appreciate me doing that.
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:49:51 PM EDT
[#44]
OP orders chili and sits in his booth, pooting quietly, contemplating his next masturbation session.
He smiles. The waitress thought he smiled at her, perhaps needing a refill. She enters his invisible ass air.. vomits. She leaves early and the busboy sneaks her $500 dollar tip into his pocket. Next to his hard on for the man who left the tip. The busboy plans his evening of masturbatory bliss in fantasies containing the customer and his exotic scent. |
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:50:46 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted: OP likes his women to smell like cheeseburger and fries. mmm a breakfast place. She can smell like bacon! |
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:51:41 PM EDT
[#46]
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:51:41 PM EDT
[#47]
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:51:54 PM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryQuoted: OP orders chili and sits in his booth, pooting quietly, contemplating his next masturbation session. He smiles. The waitress thought he smiled at her, perhaps needing a refill. She enters his invisible ass air.. vomits. She leaves early and the busboy sneaks her $500 dollar tip into his pocket. Next to his hard on for the man who left the tip. The busboy plans his evening of masturbatory bliss in fantasies containing the customer and his exotic scent. Go on.... |
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:52:28 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I don't think my wife would appreciate me doing that. You'll never know unless you try. |
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Posted: 12/9/2020 10:52:48 PM EDT
[#50]
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