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Posted: 11/9/2019 3:02:41 AM EDT
[#1]
Bail, if she's not ready to move forward, you can't move forward..
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Posted: 11/9/2019 3:05:53 AM EDT
[#2]
Like anything else, may be a woman that adores you and will do anything to make you happy, or maybe not. Sometimes you’ve gots to pay your money to take the ride.
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Posted: 11/9/2019 3:08:11 AM EDT
[#3]
OP, You're lucky you didn't have children with her, you'd eventually find out she was sexually abused as a child and thinks it's ok for her kids to be raped also, because it makes her feel normal. But you'd only find out ~20 years later, after she divorced you with 14.5 years of child support and moved in with some meth head pedophile.
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Posted: 11/9/2019 3:12:46 AM EDT
[#4]
Or worse, you'd watch it happening, try to stop it, get mad cause no one will stop it, and end up getting banned from seeing your own kids, while they spend their formative years getting raped.
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Posted: 11/9/2019 3:13:39 AM EDT
[#5]
I went out with a beautiful woman who was mentally abused by her cop husband. He was always running her plates and his cop buddies kept tabs on her reporting her activities to him.
The event we went to was a fundraiser in as a group. While we were moving through the food line I kept asking her if she wanted some of this or that. She was so beat down she kept saying only if I wanted her to have some. It was a bad situation for her before she got out. The thing is that she’s a very successful doctor. By the end of the evening I think she had fun. I got a huge hug and a really nice kiss, which I’m sure was very difficult for her. |
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Posted: 11/9/2019 3:14:58 AM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I live in a small town and I'm bored... Fishing in a really small pond. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
You should ask yourself why you were attracted to her in the first place. Fishing in a really small pond. |
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Posted: 11/9/2019 3:17:38 AM EDT
[#7]
If she can't unfuck her shit any better than that on her own, you're not going to do it any better.
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Posted: 11/9/2019 3:27:56 AM EDT
[#8]
It's a dirty rotten shame what happened to her and she desperately needs help but a relationship? I'd run not walk away until she gets help. Her baggage will destroy any relationship until then.
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Posted: 11/9/2019 3:33:08 AM EDT
[#9]
Fuck that .you can't fix broken people and it's a pump and dump only
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Posted: 11/9/2019 3:34:44 AM EDT
[#10]
Quoted:
So I've been dating this girl who was married for 10 years to an abusive husband. She has PTSD and any conversation you have with her about it she flies off the handle and starts bawling and it ends up being a huge fight. She just wants to sit in her home, drink, and live in the past crying about what happened to her. I've told her I'm not like that and I'd like to begin a relationship with her and for her to move forward...but she just can't get past what happened to her. I guess it's time to move on. You just can't fix broken people. You ever consider she may have been broken the whole time? |
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Posted: 11/9/2019 3:36:32 AM EDT
[#11]
Everyone has their issues. If she's not in a space where she wishes to deal with those issues in a positive way that works with a relationship with you, and she's unwilling to take meaningful steps to work towards that, then you must do what's healthy:
1.SIHPAPP 2.EJECT EJECT EJECT |
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Posted: 11/9/2019 3:44:57 AM EDT
[#12]
You can't fix her, and neither can a therapist or anyone else. She has to decide to fix herself.
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Posted: 11/9/2019 4:05:34 AM EDT
[#13]
RUN
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Posted: 11/9/2019 5:59:52 AM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
You should ask yourself why you were attracted to her in the first place. |
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Posted: 11/9/2019 6:06:41 AM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Eh. Guy could be hot as the sun with a magic dick, and he still wouldn't be worth that nonsense. Maybe I wouldn't get it. I think i'm ok with that. Women say they have sexual thoughts too. They have no idea. It's the difference between shooting a bullet and throwing it. If they knew what we were really thinking, they'd never stop slapping us. Larry Miller |
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Posted: 11/9/2019 6:11:18 AM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
In all sincerity encourage her to seek help. Therapy, counseling. She should not have to go through life like that. But, this is not your job unless she’s your wife. Gently bail. |
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Posted: 11/9/2019 6:28:54 AM EDT
[#17]
According to what I see on social media, they all have been abused, but they have persevered, and life is such a struggle, and it is so hard being a woman, and the world is against me, but I am strong because I have a vagina, and men are the devil.
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Posted: 11/9/2019 7:10:32 AM EDT
[#18]
Dated one for awhile that had been raped. Drank beer everyday and wanted to be on top most of the time during sex. The beer won.
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Posted: 11/9/2019 7:23:47 AM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
This comes from experience.... walk away.. |
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Posted: 11/9/2019 7:29:27 AM EDT
[#20]
Quoted:
So I've been dating this girl who was married for 10 years to an abusive husband. She has PTSD and.... 
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Posted: 11/9/2019 7:44:34 AM EDT
[#21]
Walk away..
Chef. |
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Posted: 11/9/2019 7:49:04 AM EDT
[#22]
Run.
Seriously need to ask? |
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Posted: 11/9/2019 7:52:11 AM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Run. There are plenty of women out there. Mostly all crazy but find one with a crazy level you can deal with. |
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Posted: 11/9/2019 8:04:45 AM EDT
[#24]
Quoted:
So I've been dating this girl who was married for 10 years to an abusive husband. She has PTSD and any conversation you have with her about it she flies off the handle and starts bawling and it ends up being a huge fight. She just wants to sit in her home, drink, and live in the past crying about what happened to her. I've told her I'm not like that and I'd like to begin a relationship with her and for her to move forward...but she just can't get past what happened to her. I guess it's time to move on. You just can't fix broken people. Don't waste anymore time with it, brother. Plenty other crazy ones out there 
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Posted: 11/9/2019 8:06:54 AM EDT
[#25]
In high school I dated a girl who was beaten by both her father and a boyfriend. She was sweet, smart, and looked like 18 year old Jodie Foster with a better rack.
Once day we were sitting in the car concluding an argument about having to go to a party with people who I really hated. From the driver's seat I reached with my right arm cross body to grab my seatbelt to put it on. I see Lori wince and throw up arms to block her face. That's how I found out about the damaged goods that were sitting next to me. I thought at the time I could fix her by being nice. That proved to be wrong. Time to bail OP |
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Posted: 11/9/2019 8:13:38 AM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
"STFU or I'll give you something to cry about." Just kidding. Run. 
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Posted: 11/9/2019 8:28:02 AM EDT
[#27]
I can't imagine going on another a date after the second time that happened.
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Posted: 11/9/2019 8:29:45 AM EDT
[#28]
Whatever you decide to do I wish you luck.
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Posted: 11/9/2019 8:30:58 AM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Hell with that drama, sounds like she could still be in love with him. |
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Posted: 11/9/2019 8:31:03 AM EDT
[#30]
You are correct that you can't fix broken people, but God can.
I went through years of physical abuse as a kid by my step father. The emotional wounds that leaves are impossible to heal outside of God. |
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Posted: 11/9/2019 8:38:18 AM EDT
[#31]
My understanding is that you can, in most cases, fix these issues by putting a baby in her. It has a calming effect and will improve the situation. Bareback therapy
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Posted: 11/9/2019 8:41:50 AM EDT
[#32]
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Posted: 11/9/2019 8:50:47 AM EDT
[#33]
There is a 99.9% chance you can do absolutely nothing to help OP. She has to want to change, and it appears that is not the case. Until she lets it go, or gets professional help to help her let go, the past will always be there and run her life. As long as you are there, you will be along for the ride, in one way or another. Only you can decide where you will go next. If you walk, be prepared for two types of reaction. One, she's going to break down and tell you she'll do whatever it takes to change. This is either manipulation, or a chance to get her help. If she won't seek help, and seriously pursue it, there is her decision. Two, she's gonna turn on you as if she's throwing you out in order to convince herself that she's a strong, independent woman that's over the past. Make sure you have all your belongings, etc. ready for a quick/clean exit, and don't say or do anything that would warrant her calling law enforcement.
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Posted: 11/9/2019 8:53:10 AM EDT
[#34]
The problem with saving damsels in distress is that you end up with distressed damsels.
Get out, Get out NOW. |
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Posted: 11/9/2019 9:01:50 AM EDT
[#35]
Life is pretty damn short, who needs that kind of drama mucking it up?
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Posted: 11/9/2019 9:12:57 AM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
OP, You're lucky you didn't have children with her, you'd eventually find out she was sexually abused as a child and thinks it's ok for her kids to be raped also, because it makes her feel normal. 
Wtf? So you are saying childhood sexual abuse victims want that for their own children??? Your frame of mind is messed up... |
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Posted: 11/9/2019 9:14:14 AM EDT
[#37]
Billions of women in the world, it’s not worth the trouble.
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Posted: 11/9/2019 9:16:52 AM EDT
[#38]
Don't save her, she don't wanna be saved
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Posted: 11/9/2019 9:17:22 AM EDT
[#39]
She’s content and comfortable in her rocking chair called the past. You’re temporary but what isn’t is her rocking chair habit. It’s comfortable to sit on but going nowhere.
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Posted: 11/9/2019 9:18:19 AM EDT
[#40]
There's more than a couple that say they were abused but were not by any measurable standard, they just want the attention that comes with playing victim. They're ill....
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Posted: 11/9/2019 9:19:07 AM EDT
[#41]
Once the programming is set for her “normal” she’ll work subconsciously to get to that state.
Can get problematic for you. |
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Posted: 11/9/2019 9:22:17 AM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Sex is a powerful motivator... She has a rocking body and knows how to use it... |
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Posted: 11/9/2019 9:24:06 AM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
There's more than a couple that say they were abused but were not by any measurable standard, they just want the attention that comes with playing victim. They're ill.... OP, walk don’t run. You can’t fix her, only she can fix her and it doesn’t sound like she’s interested in it. |
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Posted: 11/9/2019 9:25:14 AM EDT
[#44]
Go now, ask me how I know.
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Posted: 11/9/2019 9:26:08 AM EDT
[#45]
Is it wrong this was playing in my head while reading this thread?
 Project Pat - Don’t Save Her |
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Posted: 11/9/2019 9:27:22 AM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
My mother had that happen to her. Ex was some black op in Army during Vietnam. The guy was sent to kill one person and get out alive to repeat it later. He can track anyone anywhere and show up anywhere and disappear just as fast.  Attached File |
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Posted: 11/9/2019 9:27:59 AM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Wtf? So you are saying childhood sexual abuse victims want that for their own children??? Your frame of mind is messed up... Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
OP, You're lucky you didn't have children with her, you'd eventually find out she was sexually abused as a child and thinks it's ok for her kids to be raped also, because it makes her feel normal.
Wtf? So you are saying childhood sexual abuse victims want that for their own children??? Your frame of mind is messed up... |
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Posted: 11/9/2019 9:32:21 AM EDT
[#48]
I didn’t read the middle part of the thread, so maybe this has been said already: in my experience “my past husband was abusive” or “my current husband is abusive” is often used as an excuse to rationalize shitty behavior by women who are themselves abusive, whether it’s true or not true.
I’ve had the chance to meet a lot of people having bad days. Often abuse isn’t a one way street, it’s a three-dimension traffic circle where a Mexican 18-wheeler loaded with organ-meat piñatas just ran over a chicken-stealing coyote and slid into the ditch and rolled over into your yard. Aka: a big fucking mess. |
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Posted: 11/9/2019 9:32:37 AM EDT
[#49]
Quoted:
So I've been dating this girl who was married for 10 years to an abusive husband. She has PTSD and any conversation you have with her about it she flies off the handle and starts bawling and it ends up being a huge fight. She just wants to sit in her home, drink, and live in the past crying about what happened to her. I've told her I'm not like that and I'd like to begin a relationship with her and for her to move forward...but she just can't get past what happened to her. I guess it's time to move on. You just can't fix broken people. |
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Posted: 11/9/2019 9:32:37 AM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Wtf? So you are saying childhood sexual abuse victims want that for their own children??? Your frame of mind is messed up... Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
OP, You're lucky you didn't have children with her, you'd eventually find out she was sexually abused as a child and thinks it's ok for her kids to be raped also, because it makes her feel normal.
Wtf? So you are saying childhood sexual abuse victims want that for their own children??? Your frame of mind is messed up... 2. You assume childhood sexual abuse victims think like normal people who merely had bad things happen to them as a child. Nothing could be further from the truth. Childhood sexual abuse messes a person's mind up for life, and most cannot overcome it. So they aren't normal-thinking people. |
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