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Posted: 1/23/2023 12:23:48 AM EDT
[#1]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Wait, you voluntarily let her have your location? That tells me he is gonna suck up and apologize to her no matter what we say |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 12:24:07 AM EDT
[#2]
Quoted: Annual party on Saturday (tech company), I told her that I wanted her to go. She said she didn't want to if it would end late and said she'd go if we left by 10pm the latest. I said that's unlikely and asked if she would stay out later. She said I should go out, have fun, and in a joking way (I thought) said she'd be angry at me for going out late She had my location and I was texting her every 30min or so. She went out as well until midnight, and stopped texting me for 2 hours. I get back home from hanging out with a bunch of dude coworkers at 330AM, text her goodnight, and now today she won't talk to me because I was "out so late"and that I disrespected her wishes to an event she didn't even go to (after I said I wanted her to) Wise old men of GD, what is the answer here? Some additional context, I don't really go out late very often, and I typically prioritize spending time with her and see her 3-5x a week |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 12:26:38 AM EDT
[#3]
its not the party. shes mad because youve been together 3 years and arent married. she probably should be unless you are young.
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Posted: 1/23/2023 12:26:53 AM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Never try to figure out the female mind. Whatever you might think is rational, they will prove that the opposite is true. Can't live without 'em, can't shoot 'em. Amen to that. Hey, OP. Be glad she doesn't have cluster B personality disorder, because then she would pretend to slip and fall in the shower to get you to come home and pay attention to her. |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 12:31:07 AM EDT
[#5]
Read through the OP's responses.
Try to work it out, but my feeling is that you're heading towards pulling the handle. 
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Posted: 1/23/2023 12:31:17 AM EDT
[#6]
I would have been the one to get pissed that she didn't go with me to a function but went somewhere else in such a way that negated the reason for not going.
Had to be back by 2200, but came back even later?!? I don't understand how an issue wasn't made of that. I would have demanded an explanation. |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 12:32:27 AM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Wait, you voluntarily let her have your location? This and so much more. Eject if you've got it in you and then get your shit straightened out on being a man before trying to date again... |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 12:34:23 AM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Eject |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 12:35:34 AM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted: She did it to make me jealous, it didn't work because I just asked if she had a good time with her coworker lol I was going to suggest you tell her this is the last time you'll tolerate her BS and maybe give her one more chance. But if she stayed out late to purposely make you jealous and you called her bluff by staying out later, and then she got mad about THAT, dump her. The grief you are looking forward to will only be worse. Games and jealousy are a bad combo. Honestly, sounds like you were playing some games as well. Were you, by chance, trying to push her buttons? |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 12:44:11 AM EDT
[#10]
I don’t play that shit. I set the boundary way back when my wife and I first got together that I have lots of friends and am a social person. I hunt, I fish, I hang out with the guys and do guy shit. I am not asking her permission when I am going out to do anything, I am politely letting her know what I am heading out to do.
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Posted: 1/23/2023 12:47:50 AM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted: She did it to make me jealous, it didn't work because I just asked if she had a good time with her coworker lol But you asked her to come to the event with you. She's the one that chose not to. Trying to make someone jealous that claims they have trust issues from being cheated on in the past doesn't make sense, it seems pretty shitty. Again, she wouldn't have a chance to be mad because I would be mad first and justifiably so. |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 12:54:38 AM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Shit she doesn't sound unreasonable to me. I don't let my wife stay out til 3:30 am. Didn't when she was my GF either. What is going on at 3:30 am in a room full of dudes anyway? She was invited to an event and turned it down, then stayed out later than the reason she didn't want to go to the event. The rest of it, the texting and stuff isn't a big deal the way I see it, a lot of people are always texting. If they are always texting but never their S.O. that would be a red flag. If someone went out but never with their S.O. that would also be a red flag. But she was invited and turned down the invite for what sounds like a bullshit reason. |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 12:56:53 AM EDT
[#13]
She is insecure.
It doesn't go away and it only gets worse. I had a friend whose wife was like that. She killed him. |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 12:57:02 AM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted: She had the option to go. You invited her. But instead she chose to be a bitch about it. I feel bad for you. She could have gone and left when she wanted for that matter. Sometimes people have to work, or they just get tired and want to go home. That's what Lyft is for. |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 12:57:03 AM EDT
[#15]
Quoted: Annual party on Saturday (tech company), I told her that I wanted her to go. She said she didn’t want to if it would end late and said she’d go if we left by 10pm the latest. I said that’s unlikely and asked if she would stay out later. She said I should go out, have fun, and in a joking way (I thought) said she’d be angry at me for going out late She had my location and I was texting her every 30min or so. She went out as well until midnight, and stopped texting me for 2 hours. I get back home from hanging out with a bunch of dude coworkers at 330AM, text her goodnight, and now today she won’t talk to me because I was “out so late”and that I disrespected her wishes to an event she didn’t even go to (after I said I wanted her to) Wise old men of GD, what is the answer here? Some additional context, I don’t really go out late very often, and I typically prioritize spending time with her and see her 3-5x a week Bang her one last time. Get dressed and leave. Never talk to her again. She’s got issues. |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 12:57:47 AM EDT
[#16]
She is trying to pussy whip you.
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Posted: 1/23/2023 1:06:19 AM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted: She was invited to an event and turned it down, then stayed out later than the reason she didn't want to go to the event. The rest of it, the texting and stuff isn't a big deal the way I see it, a lot of people are always texting. If they are always texting but never their S.O. that would be a red flag. If someone went out but never with their S.O. that would also be a red flag. But she was invited and turned down the invite for what sounds like a bullshit reason. Exactly. If she'd have gone with him, OP probably would have been happy going home at midnight or GF could have been talked into staying out an little bit later. Instead they stayed out late separately and he just stayed out later than she stayed out. Stupid games. People who love each other don't do that. Or maybe times have changed. I assume if you've been with someone 3 years you love each other. Maybe not. In that case, bail and you lose nothing but a future of more games. |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 1:10:10 AM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Projecting her cheating on you. This could very well be the case |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 1:10:32 AM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted: its not the party. shes mad because youve been together 3 years and arent married. she probably should be unless you are young. I highly suspect that is the case too....but still OP should eject, because GROWN UPs "communicate" and discuss shit. They don't play Lifetime/drama passive/aggressive games. Can you imagine being married to her and "life" happens? More passive/aggressive, Lifetime/drama games - instead of handling shit like adults. |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 1:15:48 AM EDT
[#20]
From what I can tell you, I would never trust a woman who wants to share locations. They don't do it because they think YOU'LL be unfaithful, they do it because THEY are unfaithful.
I was not in a relationship where location tracking/sharing was a thing, but I have witnessed firsthand what kind of woman has location tracking on her significant other. They are not faithful... |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 1:21:54 AM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I was going to suggest you tell her this is the last time you'll tolerate her BS and maybe give her one more chance. But if she stayed out late to purposely make you jealous and you called her bluff by staying out later, and then she got mad about THAT, dump her. The grief you are looking forward to will only be worse. Games and jealousy are a bad combo. Honestly, sounds like you were playing some games as well. Were you, by chance, trying to push her buttons? Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: She did it to make me jealous, it didn't work because I just asked if she had a good time with her coworker lol I was going to suggest you tell her this is the last time you'll tolerate her BS and maybe give her one more chance. But if she stayed out late to purposely make you jealous and you called her bluff by staying out later, and then she got mad about THAT, dump her. The grief you are looking forward to will only be worse. Games and jealousy are a bad combo. Honestly, sounds like you were playing some games as well. Were you, by chance, trying to push her buttons? Not at all, I told her from the get go I would likely be out until 2 or 3AM |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 1:23:24 AM EDT
[#22]
 Look forward to the Arfcursw thread in seven years |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 1:23:45 AM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I highly suspect that is the case too....but still OP should eject, because GROWN UPs "communicate" and discuss shit. They don't play Lifetime/drama passive/aggressive games. Can you imagine being married to her and "life" happens? More passive/aggressive, Lifetime/drama games - instead of handling shit like adults. I only just met her parents because she was afraid to introduce me |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 1:25:30 AM EDT
[#24]
She was probably riding another dude's baloney pony for the missing two hours... then busting your balls over a once-in-a-while get-together with male work buddies that she'd better hope you weren't putting your dick in. Negro, please.
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Posted: 1/23/2023 1:25:54 AM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I only just met her parents because she was afraid to introduce me Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I highly suspect that is the case too....but still OP should eject, because GROWN UPs "communicate" and discuss shit. They don't play Lifetime/drama passive/aggressive games. Can you imagine being married to her and "life" happens? More passive/aggressive, Lifetime/drama games - instead of handling shit like adults. I only just met her parents because she was afraid to introduce me 
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Posted: 1/23/2023 1:26:45 AM EDT
[#26]
SIIHPAPP
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Posted: 1/23/2023 1:28:24 AM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I’m 33 she’s 28 She’s been caring less and checked out compared to normal, upset with me for not doing what she wants to do more (then when I asked her what she couldn’t give me an example). If she cheated on me that is what it is, I’m a little checked out at this point myself It sounds like you already know what is best for you at this point and she ain’t it. Life is too short to waste any more time man. |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 1:29:18 AM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I’m getting this feeling. She’s been the most caring and loyal (I believe) girlfriend I’ve been with but I’m just seeing a ton of warning flags lately that have me concerned They're all crazy to some degree. Some just hide it better. Just ask wife #3... . |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 1:29:23 AM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted: You wanted her to go. She didn't want to. You went in direction A. She went in direction B. You were on the grid, she was off. She was out later than what she offered to you WHILE she was off grid....... I'm sorry to be the one that has to tell you this but I only do so to look out for ya......She scrogged someone else and is mad at you to make herself feel less guilty. Time to pop smoke before she meets the rest of the department she's working at. So much this. Eject. |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 1:32:15 AM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I only just met her parents because she was afraid to introduce me No, it's cuz you're one of many guys she's fucking.... When I was in the Army, stationed at School of the Americas, there was a Hispanic Visa overstay who was playing both American and Hispanic military. She told one White guy not to tell anyone they were dating because she didn't like gossip...Seems reasonable, right? Well, nope, she was fucking and/or trading sexual favors for stuff. She once told him how clueless she was as to why foreign officers where just showering her with "gifts"....When she was "done" with him, she reported him to his commander, saying that he was harassing her. He wanted back his leather gloves, Igloo and $500. Actually, one of the Puerto Rican Ranger dudes told me she hit him up too, but she wanted to marry him (I could see why, he was tall, good looking, fuckable....even tried to fuck me) but he said he knew her game and didn't want her sloppy 2nds. |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 1:32:58 AM EDT
[#31]
Don’t be the guy who puts a woman on such a pedestal that you keep her around even after she attempts to emasculate you, figuratively. It’s pathetic.
Unless you’re fat unemployed and have zero personality, women aren’t that hard to come by. Drop her ass and move on. |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 1:45:40 AM EDT
[#32]
You have a girl who suspects you have a side piece. I'm guessing you are aware of this and failed to mention it.
Also, women's intuition is pretty good. 80% chance there is girl at work auditioning for her job If she's never mentioned being jealous of a girl at work, and actually expects you to check in every 30 minutes while you're out, run. |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 1:53:27 AM EDT
[#33]
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Posted: 1/23/2023 1:54:08 AM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I'm getting this feeling. She's been the most caring and loyal (I believe) girlfriend I've been with but I'm just seeing a ton of warning flags lately that have me concerned i generally am understanding and cut people a lot of slack for their decisions. From what you wrote, her behaviour is odd. There are several warning signs in that alone and you should be concerned. |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 1:54:12 AM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted: She was cheated on in the past so I give her my location when I’m out because I don’t want her to be concerned. Too much I’m sure Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Wait, you voluntarily let her have your location? She was cheated on in the past so I give her my location when I’m out because I don’t want her to be concerned. Too much I’m sure JFC |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 1:58:35 AM EDT
[#36]
This will probably get buried at not noticed. But oh well...
I read page one and page 8, so I may have missed something in the middle. However, you need to learn to hone your instincts and then learn to listen to them. You mentioned red flags popping up. Those are not by accident. I am not willing to jump right in and say that she is cheating on you, but she IS preparing to if she hasn't already. Behavioral changes. Checking out. Getting more critical of your behavior. All of these are indications of some level of comparing you to another guy. It may be full on physical. It may be an emotional affair, or it may simply be a fantasy she is having about a particular guy. But it certainly sounds like she is trying to "fix" you into what she thinks she sees in the another particular guy. As for refusing to go with you if you would be later than 10, and than staying out until 12... that is passive aggressive behavior. However, it rarely stops at just curfews. If she gets into the "I'll show him" mode, there isn't an "off" switch to it. She will give herself permission to hook up with someone-- either a random, or the guy she is eyeing. Often, this mode will be the catalyst she needs to take an emotional or fantasy affair to the next level. After all, you deserve it. You probably need to eject. However, if you need closure it will always be in the phone. Get into her phone. Either take a peek, or ask her for it. If she does anything to the phone, or leaves the room with it, she is deleting the evidence. Walking off in a huff and refusing to let you see, but then coming back in 10 minutes from the bathroom is practically proof of inappropriate behavior. Don't bother to try to get it out of her. She will gaslight you, blame-shift, and then eventually trick-truth you. If you are an idiot, she'll then move to rug-sweeping. Know your worth. She is already demonstrating manipulative behavior, and possibly cheating behavior. |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 1:59:03 AM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I only just met her parents because she was afraid to introduce me The more you talk about her the less caring and loyal she sounds. Cut your losses and move on. I agree with others who say she's probably testing you now because she wants a ring on it. Don't do it. If the ring was meant to be, it would already be on it. |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 2:01:56 AM EDT
[#38]
In all things between men and women: buy her flower and tell her it was all your fault.
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Posted: 1/23/2023 2:10:58 AM EDT
[#39]
Welcome to the rest of your life with her. It only gets worse.
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Posted: 1/23/2023 2:14:56 AM EDT
[#40]
Quoted: Annual party on Saturday (tech company), I told her that I wanted her to go. She said she didn’t want to if it would end late and said she’d go if we left by 10pm the latest. I said that’s unlikely and asked if she would stay out later. She said I should go out, have fun, and in a joking way (I thought) said she’d be angry at me for going out late She had my location and I was texting her every 30min or so. She went out as well until midnight, and stopped texting me for 2 hours. I get back home from hanging out with a bunch of dude coworkers at 330AM, text her goodnight, and now today she won’t talk to me because I was “out so late”and that I disrespected her wishes to an event she didn’t even go to (after I said I wanted her to) Wise old men of GD, what is the answer here? Some additional context, I don’t really go out late very often, and I typically prioritize spending time with her and see her 3-5x a week This doesn’t get better with time. Do not apologize and if she keeps it up stop calling her and make her come around to you. If she doesn’t come and apologize to you, she did you a favor. |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 2:25:41 AM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I'm getting this feeling. She's been the most caring and loyal (I believe) girlfriend I've been with but I'm just seeing a ton of warning flags lately that have me concerned Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Eject I'm getting this feeling. She's been the most caring and loyal (I believe) girlfriend I've been with but I'm just seeing a ton of warning flags lately that have me concerned |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 2:28:48 AM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I’m getting this feeling. She’s been the most caring and loyal (I believe) girlfriend I’ve been with but I’m just seeing a ton of warning flags lately that have me concerned Listen to your intuition. |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 2:32:08 AM EDT
[#43]
Quoted: Annual party on Saturday (tech company), I told her that I wanted her to go. She said she didn’t want to if it would end late and said she’d go if we left by 10pm the latest. I said that’s unlikely and asked if she would stay out later. She said I should go out, have fun, and in a joking way (I thought) said she’d be angry at me for going out late She had my location and I was texting her every 30min or so. She went out as well until midnight, and stopped texting me for 2 hours. I get back home from hanging out with a bunch of dude coworkers at 330AM, text her goodnight, and now today she won’t talk to me because I was “out so late”and that I disrespected her wishes to an event she didn’t even go to (after I said I wanted her to) Wise old men of GD, what is the answer here? Some additional context, I don’t really go out late very often, and I typically prioritize spending time with her and see her 3-5x a week Been there, done that. Eject. Even the most insignificant thing will be a sign of "disrespect", and you will always be at fault....and it only gets worse with time. |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 2:33:23 AM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Same. She said it was fine since I was out so why would I have a problem with it Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: So she told you 10 at the latest then stayed out til midnight? Fuck that. I fucking hate hypocrites. Same. She said it was fine since I was out so why would I have a problem with it Shit, do you know where she was? |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 2:35:50 AM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted: She fucked something else that night in anticipation revenge for just knowing you were up to no good- like every other man she's been with. She knew they all cheated, so she probably pre-emptively cheats now just to retain her "power." After all, control freaks have to be in control. Eject. This right here is what I'm thinking, going by your story. Cut her out of your life, with a quickness. |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 2:40:01 AM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I’m getting this feeling. She’s been the most caring and loyal (I believe) girlfriend I’ve been with but I’m just seeing a ton of warning flags lately that have me concerned She’s probably creating reasons and justification for leaving a good relationship. |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 2:42:51 AM EDT
[#47]
Anyone you date for three years and not live with is just a fuck buddy.
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Posted: 1/23/2023 2:52:45 AM EDT
[#48]
She set a trap, and you walked right into it. Nothing to be embarrassed about, it happens to everyone. But it was rigged from the start. Stay home, you're a beta. Go out, you're an asshole. There's no winning move.
So, reject the game. Don't be a simp, and don't play dumb little loyalty games. Wait for her to start talking again. If the D or the $ is good enough, or if she actually loves you (lol - I mean, maybe, but lol), she'll break first. If she doesn't, she saved you a lot of trouble, and you can find someone else who isn't a rancid cunt. Maybe such a loss will teach her not to be so entitled and narcis..., narciss... not to be so enti... [laughs in 21st century masculinity] Spoiler alert, this nonsense doesn't end once you're married - it's a permanent shit test. |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 2:56:26 AM EDT
[#49]
I think it's a good thing you went out with your boys against her wishes. In my experience, most men that kowtow to their women.. their women eventually cheat on them out of boredom. She got a taste of you not following her orders and despite her emotional BS over it probably respects you even more now and doesn't realize it. If your GF isn't fit, feminine, friendly, and letting you lead the relationship.. it's definitely time to eject.
Don't put up with masculine energy from her/Western feminazi vibes or you will be miserable. |
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Posted: 1/23/2023 2:56:33 AM EDT
[#50]
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