Ways in which Hollywood has lied to me - Page 2

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Ways in which Hollywood has lied to me (Page 2 of 4)

Posted: 12/17/2022 11:36:34 AM EDT

[#1]

Quote History

Quoted:
Ninjas have been a very small part of my life, I was led to believe they would kill my family.

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Them and quick sand. Back in the 60's and 70's we were all led to believe that we were going to find ourselves in quicksand at some point.

Posted: 12/17/2022 11:37:15 AM EDT

[#2]

Quote History

Quoted:
As a kid I thought quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it's turned out to be.

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Also poison and antidotes.

I had visions of grandeur stockpiling every antidote so no one could successfully assassinate me with poison.

Posted: 12/17/2022 11:38:00 AM EDT

[#3]

Quote History

Quoted:
shooting from the hip was accurate

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It can be if you practice it enough.

Posted: 12/17/2022 11:38:15 AM EDT

[#4]

Fist fights and knife fights are drawn out affairs.

Car doors, furniture, and sheetrock will stop bullets.

Cars explode and flip over all the time.

Posted: 12/17/2022 11:38:17 AM EDT

[#5]

Sound stages - enormous buildings with painted out of focus outdoor scenes hung in the background.

The largest present a creditable illusion.

But it's a lie.

Posted: 12/17/2022 11:40:04 AM EDT

[#6]

Traffic accident explosions are in reality pretty rare.

Posted: 12/17/2022 11:41:37 AM EDT

[#7]

I watched a guy get his ass kicked in a pool hall. The big guy who won and his buddies laughed about it and then walked out the back door. Seven Spanish Angels came on the jukebox, the loser pulled out a pocket knife and walked out the back door after them.

Posted: 12/17/2022 11:41:38 AM EDT

[#8]

I watched a guy get his ass kicked in a pool hall. The big guy who won and his buddies laughed about it and then walked out the back door. Seven Spanish Angels came on the jukebox, the loser pulled out a pocket knife and walked out the back door after them.

Posted: 12/17/2022 11:45:13 AM EDT

[#9]

In the clash between good and evil, good always wins.

Posted: 12/17/2022 11:48:56 AM EDT

[#10]

Passersby never break out into song and dance as I walk down the street.

Posted: 12/17/2022 11:50:19 AM EDT

[#11]

I learned how to shoot watching the A-Team.

How did they manage to miss so many people that close up?

Posted: 12/17/2022 11:52:09 AM EDT

[#12]

My favorite movie lies:

1. You CAN'T kill a star with automatic weapons fire.

2. You CAN duck a bullet.

Posted: 12/17/2022 11:53:59 AM EDT

[#13]

All suppressed firearms sound like a pneumatic finish nailer.

Posted: 12/17/2022 11:55:21 AM EDT

[#14]

Cars do not explode when hit with a bullet or when they roll over.

Posted: 12/17/2022 11:58:05 AM EDT

[#15]

You can use any computer anywhere to easily hack into the most secure facility. With 8 key strokes.

Posted: 12/17/2022 12:00:52 PM EDT

[#16]

You don’t have to work hard for anything, it just happens for you, and it happens in less than and hour, with no real effort or commitment required.

Posted: 12/17/2022 12:02:32 PM EDT

[#17]

Recently?

Posted: 12/17/2022 12:03:21 PM EDT

[#18]

That it is easy to disarm somebody pointing a gun at you.

That a hot chick can usually beat the shit out of a half dozen bad guys.

Posted: 12/17/2022 12:03:45 PM EDT

[#19]

Quote History

Quoted:
A pistol with a locked slide still goes click as if the firing pin is dropping

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*click* *clickclickclick* “Shit!”

Posted: 12/17/2022 12:05:15 PM EDT

[#20]

The best way to settle a gun fight is with fists.

Posted: 12/17/2022 12:07:58 PM EDT

[#21]

Bullets spark on everything they hit. Even trees.

All cars on Fast and Furious have 87 gears.

The Mini 14 is a very safe gun that cannot kill anyone.

Posted: 12/17/2022 12:10:12 PM EDT

[#22]

Sky diving lasts a lot longer than you think it would.

Posted: 12/17/2022 12:12:03 PM EDT

[#23]

Quote History

Quoted:
Ninjas have been a very small part of my life, I was led to believe they would kill my family.

View Quote

Yes, many sleepless nights after watching a Tarzan movie. I have yet to see quicksand as an adult (in my 70s).

ETA: Oops, this was supposed to be in response to the post re: quicksand.

Posted: 12/17/2022 12:16:00 PM EDT

[#24]

It's easy to outrun the blast from a large explosion at the other end of the tunnel and German soldiers always stood up to take a shot and always got killed. And getting killed means just falling down quietly.

Posted: 12/17/2022 12:17:20 PM EDT

[#25]

Response for old Hollywood not new. Right wins out in the end.

Posted: 12/17/2022 12:20:16 PM EDT

[#26]

Commercials: Every couple in the United states is either black or biracial, and the white one is the stupid one every time

Posted: 12/17/2022 12:20:52 PM EDT

[#27]

That being a private eye is glamourous, and totally not hours spent sitting in a car while some cheating husband fucks his side piece.

Posted: 12/17/2022 12:24:45 PM EDT

[#28]

Gays are the most intelligent, patient, kind, wise and well adjusted humans that walk this planet.

Posted: 12/17/2022 12:25:14 PM EDT

[#29]

when your fellow bad guy gets shot right in front of you, your automatic next move is to move to an area where Mr. Wick can then shoot you also. While doing this, make sure to shoot all around him, but do NOT shoot him directly. If you do that you will turn long boring movie into short realistic movie and we can't have that.

cars will run an endless amount of time without a cooling system

cars CAN catch a motorcycle

a sword is an optimal, if not preferred, replacement for a pistol

Posted: 12/17/2022 12:31:04 PM EDT

[#30]

It always confused me why the hero never picked up all the firearms for his collection. I mean, Matrix literally took out a small country’s military. At least load up prized items in the zodiac. Such a waste.

Posted: 12/17/2022 12:36:14 PM EDT

[#31]

Quote History

Quoted:
Sky diving lasts a lot longer than you think it would.

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This and you can actually hear someone else yelling at you with a hundred mile an hour wind in your ears

Posted: 12/17/2022 12:39:01 PM EDT

[#32]

I thought whips were gonna be a lot more useful than they are. I've never managed to get one to wrap around a tree branch such that I could swing from it. I never managed to get my brother to drop his nerf gun by hitting him in the hand with it. Nor did I ever manage to get it to wrap around his neck. I did manage to whip him real good in the back once but that wasn't very cool.

Eta: I just realized that a lot of younger people here might think it odd that parents would gift there young boys whips and machetes from a Mexican street market after a visit to Matamoros. But that's what growing up in the 70's-80's was like. We had lawn darts too.

Posted: 12/17/2022 12:43:47 PM EDT

[#33]

I can't find any white supremacists. Hollywood and FJB told me this country is absolutely riddled with them.

Posted: 12/17/2022 12:44:24 PM EDT

[#34]

I thought riding a horse was going to be easy.

Posted: 12/17/2022 12:48:19 PM EDT

[#35]

That my step sister and her best friend aren't actually lesbians who still want too suck me off together.

Posted: 12/17/2022 12:58:04 PM EDT

[#36]

Quote History

Quoted:
That my step sister and her best friend aren't actually lesbians who still want too suck me off together.

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Same for the lady who cleans our house. Hot real estate ladies too.
All lies.

Posted: 12/17/2022 1:02:56 PM EDT

[#37]

I must thrust my revolver at whomever I am shooting.

A shotgun blast will lift a man off of his feet and propel him at least ten feet backwards.

Posted: 12/17/2022 1:19:16 PM EDT

[#38]

Came back to mention that the bad guys win in real life way more than they did in the movies of my youth.

Also, at least as far as the last ten years goes, it seems that problems do in fact get solved by resilient and determined men, and we don't need to wait for the strong female lead to take over and carry us all on their backs across the finish line.

Posted: 12/17/2022 1:33:01 PM EDT

[#39]

Magazine (clips ?) changes or the lack thereof , laws of physics get suspended- men act like they just got hit w/ a 20mm disguised as a 12 gauge . a week in the wild w/ no shower and you're still nice and clean , exception being"The Road ".

Posted: 12/17/2022 1:35:19 PM EDT

[#40]

Quote History

Quoted:
If you grit your teeth and pull hard on the steering wheel you can make a car jump a gap in the road.

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Well yeah, but you need a ramp like a pile of construction material or a flatbed trailer, it's just like jumping a drawbridge.

Posted: 12/17/2022 1:42:26 PM EDT

[#41]

When I was a kid I thought it snowed on Christmas morning. I once thought my parents were lying to me about it being Christmas Day, on the basis that it was not, in fact, snowing.

Posted: 12/17/2022 1:43:15 PM EDT

[#42]

Lied? Not Hollywood. Science lied and tried to ignore the existence of Woke Matter, and everything you have been taught about physics is wrong and Hollywood continues to hide the secret!

Modern Hollywood has clearly revealed another state of matter. F=M*A, and small women would not be able to launch well trained men across rooms without either the woke charged having sudden near magical acceleration (not shown on film) or having their mass modified by something. Clearly in addition to "dark matter" there is also "woke matter" to be added to the mass side of teh equation. nothing else makes sense.

As usual in our universe, for every action there is an opposing natural reaction, and like Uranium radiates and can reach critical mass, the usual side effect of too much Woke Matter is "going broke", and if gathered into too dense a core, it can go critical, causing the local atmosphere to change colors across a wide spectrum at which point people who fuck around, find out, but somehow Hollywood and DC have created a Tokamak blanket to protect itself from this effect and selfishly keep it secret from the rest of America.

Posted: 12/17/2022 1:47:46 PM EDT

[#43]

I also used to think lockpicking was accomplished by placing a hairpin in the lock, jiggling it, and turning the knob.

Posted: 12/17/2022 1:50:36 PM EDT

[#44]

Most horrible car/plane crashes are not fatal. They usually result in a cut over the forehead.

Posted: 12/17/2022 1:57:47 PM EDT

[#45]

That good looking hookers were plentiful and cheap

Posted: 12/17/2022 2:00:09 PM EDT

[#46]

According to the movies, it always rains at internments in the cemetary.

Posted: 12/17/2022 2:03:45 PM EDT

[#47]

Its always much darker in my bedroom at night than it ever was in the night time scenes in bedrooms on tv.

Posted: 12/17/2022 2:10:04 PM EDT

[#48]

Is anyone else disappointed in the lack of high school kids taking fighter jets to free their fathers held captive by oppressive governments?

Posted: 12/17/2022 2:10:14 PM EDT

[#49]

How easy it is to access freight elevators and rooftops of tall buildings.

Posted: 12/17/2022 2:13:00 PM EDT

[#50]

4 stroke dirt bikes sound like 2 strokes have 20 gears. german soldiers will line up in front of machine guns, cant shoot. a spitfire can glide for 15 minutes at 1000 feet. drive my wife nuts when we watch movies, calling out the stupid shit. they should pay me before every movie is released so I can point out the fake shit.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Ways in which Hollywood has lied to me (Page 2 of 4)

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