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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:21:42 PM EDT
[#1]
Get her on a written budget.
Call card companies and negotiate what you can. Dave Ramsey is probably a good idea because she probably needs to get some wins to keep her motivated to get out of debt. Wife and I chewed through probably $50k I'm debt going Dave's route. First year sucked after that life went well. Good luck. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:24:16 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Unsecured. She is not exactly a high earner, though I am not either. I am just ultra frugal. She works 30 hours at a mall job and 4 hours a week at a hardware store. She would drop the 4 hours and instead pick up around 20 hours at another job and do 50 hours a week or close to it. The jobs are paying around 18 - 19 dollars an hour. Ask for a raise and more hours. Never hurts to ask. Get a roommate or two. Sell a nice car and drive a beater (this primarily applies if an expensive car is being driven). Alternatively provide ride sharing services all weekend at the nearest major airport. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:26:43 PM EDT
[#3]
How much total debt? $5k - work through it. 10x that and bankruptcy is probably the logical solution.
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:27:20 PM EDT
[#4]
Crush it back
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:28:32 PM EDT
[#5]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Transfer balances to a new card that doesn't charge interest for 6 months to a year (if she can qualify?) Pay down as much as you can over that time period Roll remainder to another similar card with that deal, keep doing it until it's paid off She probably has shit credit by now. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:29:31 PM EDT
[#6]
Quoted: ...Quick explanation. My girlfriend is not the worst with money, but she did get in over her head with credit card debt. ... 
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:31:28 PM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryThis is the way. AIRBORNE!!!!! |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:38:26 PM EDT
[#8]
My wife had a lot of cc debt when we were dating. She put herself through an out-of-state college with credit cards while working at Hooters. The first step was documenting the debt on a spreadsheet, so we could see what we were dealing with. This was hard for her because she was embarrassed about it. Once it was down on paper, we consolidated some of the debt from higher interest cards to lower ones. These were easy wins as it reduced the number of cards that needed paying off. Next she hammered away at the smallest balance to knock another out. Going from 5 to 3 to 2 in pretty short order let her see the light at the end of the tunnel. After that, it was just being disciplined to pay off the last two.
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:40:14 PM EDT
[#9]
Can we get a ball park number? Over 30k or less?
Have her sell feet pics and farts in a jar or something stupid to simps on onlyfans |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:40:45 PM EDT
[#10]
Dump her. Then you don’t have to worry about her debt or YOUR debt when you get married.
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:41:39 PM EDT
[#11]
Probably depends on how much.
So... How much? |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:43:51 PM EDT
[#12]
If she can stick to the plan, she could take a consolidation loan on a much lower interest rate than the credit cards, use that to pay them off, AND THEN CUT UP THE CREDIT CARDS. It might still take her 10 years to pay off but she’ll be paying much less money in interest.
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:45:35 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted: How much total debt? $5k - work through it. 10x that and bankruptcy is probably the logical solution. As much as I'm against bankruptcy in general, some people can have literal "crushing" debt to the point where no matter how many jobs they work, their skills and education don't provide for them the means to actually eliminate the debt. It sounds like OP describes her as this. If this is the case then she should file for bankruptcy and never use credit cards again. I'd also suggest OP evaluate their life together because it also appears that she has serious character flaws. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:47:29 PM EDT
[#14]
If she's working some "mall" job 30 hrs/wk, have her go out and apply for some career type jobs.
If she can't land one that earns much more to take care of stupid debt, eject. If she's too hot to let go, it's been mentioned a few times in this thread. Send us the link when the page is set up. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:54:31 PM EDT
[#15]
IIRC Consumer credit counseling is a non profit and may be helpful. Although math says pay the highest interest rate debt first, the Dave Ramsey snowball method advocates paying the smallest balance first. When you pay one off it is a psychological win- i.e, "one down, three to go" and you can actually see some progress. As others have mentioned when you pay the highest % first it may take years to pay it off and just becomes discouraging to see what appears to be so little progress.
There is a point where you are better off just pulling the plug and declare bankruptcy. If the math indicates she can't get a job and pay all debt down in seven-ten years you might want to take a harder look at that. Check out Dave Ramsey courses. A lot of churches offer them free or for low cost. Also check out Clark Howard's website. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:56:04 PM EDT
[#16]
She could raise her debt ceiling. Congress does that every year.
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:56:17 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Transfer balances to a new card that doesn't charge interest for 6 months to a year (if she can qualify?) Pay down as much as you can over that time period Roll remainder to another similar card with that deal, keep doing it until it's paid off Transfer fees make that very hard |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:59:12 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted: This. Her spending habits need to change. If she can't/won't do that, don't make her financial problems your responsibility. All the other advice for dealing with this situation has already been provided. Buy her a Dave Ramsey book and tell her to read it. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: There are solutions for the repayment part of the equation. But it is not what will solve the problem. I’ve seen many people consolidate to get some breathing room just to strangle themselves. The first thing to work on is “why” this is happening. Then worry about what to do. This. Her spending habits need to change. If she can't/won't do that, don't make her financial problems your responsibility. All the other advice for dealing with this situation has already been provided. Buy her a Dave Ramsey book and tell her to read it. Both these posts are great . Stop trying to stay up with her friends on luxury items . Live as cheaply as you can and pay it off . Or , take the easy route and let the creditors eat it . If she doesn’t change her spending habits , it’s a lost cause , unfortunately . I know , I went through the same thing when I fucked up in my younger years , but paid everything off and never , ever bought anything again on credit I couldn’t pay for right then . That’s all I got . |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 7:01:00 PM EDT
[#19]
Has she learned the evils of debt and is she done with it?
does she have a car that she can sell to generate some cash? can she learn to live on a budget? possible balance transfers to a 0% cc can she learn to eat ramen and frozen burritos for a while |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 7:01:47 PM EDT
[#20]
Quoted: When people say "asking for a friend" they normally are joking. In this case I'm really asking for a friend. My girlfriend to be precise. I am hesitant to ask a question on here as the last one I asked I was dog piled on. Quick explanation. My girlfriend is not the worst with money, but she did get in over her head with credit card debt. Now she is struggling just to make minimum payments on a bunch of cards, which basically are only paying off the interest. She wants to take a third job but even then it will be rough with how high the rates are. So I seem to remember something from years back called Consumer Credit Counseling, which an ex had to do. If I remember correctly it worked back then. I see on a Google search that it's still a thing. Is that recommended? Any other options? I did actually offer to help. I thank you guys in advance for any honest help. I will be here back and forth tonight to answer any questions that would help in figuring out a solution. Have her do BK. It'll fuck her credit for 7+ years, but is likely her best option. Don't fucking marry her, because she SUCKS WITH MONEY. But maybe she's great in bed. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 7:03:03 PM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Consolidate the debt and cut up cards you get one payment for a long time. Very few people in this position have the will to see it through. I say go this route. She only has to worry about 1 payment to 1 place. And absolutely, cut up her cards and try your damnedest to not let her open any others. It'll take some time, but she can recover. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 7:20:16 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Probably depends on how much. So... How much? When I used the word "crushing" in the title I meant crushing for her. In truth the amount for me is not really that high. I have seven different accounts between CDs, Savings, Retirement, checking, and investments. Only one of the seven has less than the amount that she owes. It's $16k. Edit to add - I offered to pay off her debt in full, and have her pay me back $500 a month for 32 months. I would loss out on the 5% interest that I'm currently earning. Not a big deal. She doesn't want to do that. She is even making excuses to not consolidate. 
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Posted: 8/22/2023 7:25:45 PM EDT
[#23]
Bankruptcy. Seriously.
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Posted: 8/22/2023 7:28:25 PM EDT
[#24]
Consolidate the debt, get a payment plan together , and stop creating more. The first steps are easy, it's the last part that might prove challenging.
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Posted: 8/22/2023 7:37:26 PM EDT
[#25]
If she can get approval on a zero interest transfer (even if it's only for 12-18 months) do it then hammer it.
Let myself get into about $14k on a card 25 years ago. Paid it all in 18 months on a chase zero interest transfer. Never again. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 7:39:46 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Assuming she's not using the credit cards to feed herself ... 1. Stop living beyond her means. 2. Pay off each card starting with the highest interest rates. 3. Once paid off destroy the card keeping only the cheapest (rate wise) cards. 4. Start saving, paying yourself first. See how easy that is to do? Four quick and easy steps to financial stability. If she doesn't stop spending/living beyond her means she's going to be a wreck time-and-time again across her life. Delayed gratification is difficult for the young and some do grow out of it. This!! Don't ask me how I know.  |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 7:42:34 PM EDT
[#27]
Debt consolidation loan
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Posted: 8/22/2023 7:43:18 PM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted: When I used the word "crushing" in the title I meant crushing for her. In truth the amount for me is not really that high. I have seven different accounts between CDs, Savings, Retirement, checking, and investments. Only one of the seven has less than the amount that she owes. It's $16k. Edit to add - I offered to pay off her debt in full, and have her pay me back $500 a month for 32 months. I would loss out on the 5% interest that I'm currently earning. Not a big deal. She doesn't want to do that. She is even making excuses to not consolidate. 16k! That's not that bad. Work on a budget. Cut out any unnecessary monthly payments. Does she pay for tv/cable service? I couldn't believe how much that was until I canceled it. Making payments on a new iPhone? Car payments? Subscription services? Starbucks every morning? How many meals out per week? There are a lot of things that people get accustomed to that are easy to do without. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 7:44:21 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted: If she is a hot female it's generally easy to get married to a financially successful male and have him pay the debt off... That's getting more difficult to do, as men are wising up. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 7:44:35 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted: When I used the word "crushing" in the title I meant crushing for her. In truth the amount for me is not really that high. I have seven different accounts between CDs, Savings, Retirement, checking, and investments. Only one of the seven has less than the amount that she owes. It's $16k. Edit to add - I offered to pay off her debt in full, and have her pay me back $500 a month for 32 months. I would loss out on the 5% interest that I'm currently earning. Not a big deal. She doesn't want to do that. She is even making excuses to not consolidate. you shouldn't have offered to do that in the first place |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 7:48:48 PM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted: As a first step, can you get her to stop using the cards? Yep. Step 1: Make a budget Step 2: Have some discipline and Stop overspending The CC companies might lower the interest rate, if she calls and asks. I would not consider a series relationship with this type of person. Immature, lacking discipline, short sighted, low intelligence... Not desirable or positive qualities in a partner. And a long term relationship with a female in this society, is almost always a financial partnership and commitment. Your assumed financial partner is demonstrably terrible at finances. Eject. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 7:53:14 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted: When I used the word "crushing" in the title I meant crushing for her. In truth the amount for me is not really that high. I have seven different accounts between CDs, Savings, Retirement, checking, and investments. Only one of the seven has less than the amount that she owes. It's $16k. Edit to add - I offered to pay off her debt in full, and have her pay me back $500 a month for 32 months. I would loss out on the 5% interest that I'm currently earning. Not a big deal. She doesn't want to do that. She is even making excuses to not consolidate. How serious of a couple are you? That's very decent of you. And the amount of interest she would avoid is substantial. So she turned down your offer for whatever reason. But to not consolidate and keep paying minimum amounts and accruing high interest charges? Something is wrong here. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 7:55:08 PM EDT
[#33]
Lyft or Uber. Sparq delivery for Walmart.
I've paid 15k towards a divorce debt driving lyft this summer. All that didn’t come from Lyft, but a big portion did. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 7:55:57 PM EDT
[#34]
Debt consolidation generally is all BS. Unsecured debt needs to be converted to secured debt, to get a significantly lower rate.
$16,000 is not a lot of debt. She needs to increase her income, she isn't even working full time. Just 20 more hours per week would bring in an additional $1200 per month before taxes. Throw $1000 per month at this problem and it will be greatly diminished in a year. I'd recommend having her read "The Total Money Makeover" She needs to have a serious re-framing of how she looks at money, or she will be like this for the rest of her life. Getting out of debt is not the solution. The solution is changing EVERYTHING about how she views money and stuff. Working 55 hours a week for a year to get this knocked down will impress upon her the importance of this. But most likely, she will search for the "easy out" and be like this for her whole life. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 8:01:59 PM EDT
[#35]
Isn't Dave Ramsey the go-to guy for this kind of advice? I've never listed to him but he's supposed to be really good.
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Posted: 8/22/2023 8:02:25 PM EDT
[#36]
Rather than pay them off and cut them up/close accounts, it's technically better to leave open and pay them down to 20% of credit limit, then exercise them but keep around that range. It's the quickest way to rebuild her damaged credit.
This is no harder than paying off & closing, but will not damage her credit like that will. But only assuming she can be that disciplined (or you can make it so). |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 8:05:08 PM EDT
[#37]
1. First cut off using the credit cards (I see you said she stopped)
2. Line up the cards from largest balance to smallest balance, not by interest rate. 3. Only make minimum payments on all the cards except the lowest balance. Dump all extra available cash into the lowest balance card. 4. When you are done paying off the lowest balance card, take that old minimum payments and add it to the minimum payment of the next lowest balance plus any extra money left over so you are basically making two minimum payments. 5. Continue stacking minimum payments of all previously paid off cards towards the next lowest balance. Chances are even though you are paying more interests on the higher cards, it will probably be close to the minimum balance of the lowest card. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 8:08:42 PM EDT
[#38]
Fuck a credit score - and fuck paying interest to some card company to have a better one.
Get the shit paid off and it will sort itself out. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 8:09:13 PM EDT
[#39]
I know some on here love Dave Ramsey and some don't.
For me, he was a life changer. Looking back, It seems simple on what to do but in reality it was overwhelming and stressful. But it comes down to making a budget, and sticking with it. That was the hardest part for me. I always had an excuse on why I "deserved" to splurge on something after doing "good" for a month or 2. But thats when I had to realize me splurging is what got me into the mess. That being said, the 1 thing I still to this day don't agree with, is his stance on credit cards. I have 4. Had 4 b4 I started and still have 4. I can't tell u the last time I used them, but they r still there. I'm no where near his level of wealth so I need a credit score or I'll be paying higher rates. Which I don't want. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 8:10:25 PM EDT
[#40]
I had a friend in the same situation and he was able to pull himself out. I asked him how he did it to which he replied "I worked and went home". He didn't spend money on anything frivolous and paid down his debt.
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Posted: 8/22/2023 8:11:51 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Rather than pay them off and cut them up/close accounts, it's technically better to leave open and pay them down to 20% of credit limit, then exercise them but keep around that range. It's the quickest way to rebuild her damaged credit. This is absolutely false. This is a myth. 1. Yes, you should likely leave them open to increase available credit and improve oldest open line of credit and avg credit history. However, even if you do close them, you get credit as they age on your history for the next 7 years. 2. You should NOT pay them down to 20% of the limit. This is just wrong. There is ZERO benefit to your score to show 20% utilization. ZERO. NONE. NADA. In fact, this hurts your score. There is absolutely no reason to carry a balance on a credit card, or ever pay interest, as this does not help your score. In fact, if you pay them in full every month completely, the credit card company still reports your statement balance, even if you pay in full. This shows utilization. The lower the utilization the better. There are thresholds at different percentages of credit utilization, and your score improves as each threshold is lower. A utilization under 4% yields the highest scoring. If you really want the highest score possible, use the AZEO (All Zero Except One) method which all credit cards should report zero utilization (zero balance on your statement date) EXCEPT one credit card. This results in the highest score. That said - credit utilization (at least in today's scoring models) has no "memory". You can have very high utilization one month with a HUGE negative impact to your score, and if paid off the next month the score will return to normal immediately. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 8:14:07 PM EDT
[#42]
Dude, eject.
I'm not even being snarky about it. Been there, done that, should have ejected before it got that far. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 8:16:40 PM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I know some on here love Dave Ramsey and some don't. For me, he was a life changer. Looking back, It seems simple on what to do but in reality it was overwhelming and stressful. But it comes down to making a budget, and sticking with it. That was the hardest part for me. I always had an excuse on why I "deserved" to splurge on something after doing "good" for a month or 2. But thats when I had to realize me splurging is what got me into the mess. That being said, the 1 thing I still to this day don't agree with, is his stance on credit cards. I have 4. Had 4 b4 I started and still have 4. I can't tell u the last time I used them, but they r still there. I'm no where near his level of wealth so I need a credit score or I'll be paying higher rates. Which I don't want. I am a huge DR fan, it changed my life as well. Read his book. Wife and I took his class (Financial Peace). Then I taught the class. Once you get past the alcoholic state of debt and change how you look at money, you can listen to other people, and advance your education beyond his dogmatic "training for alcoholics". It doesnt make his advice wrong. It is right for his target audience. I have 10 open credit cards. Wife has 5 or 6. All are on auto-pay, in full each month. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 8:20:55 PM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Bankruptcy. Seriously. Over 16 grand? That's the stupidest thing I've read all week. Maybe ever. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 8:22:36 PM EDT
[#45]
I work in collections, your best bet will be to consolidate it into one loan over the long term. These “debt settlement” companies usually want a large fee and only want to help if the debt is in collections.
NY has a lot of consumer protection laws about debt collections, read up on them, maybe the best move is to not pay and settle for half of what is owed. Does she own any REAL assets? Like a fancy car, a home, a boat and so on? If not and let’s say she makes 50k a year, she might be judgement proof. ETA: just read more, works two jobs with minimal pay, no assets and it’s 16k in debt, don’t pay that shit, it will fuck her credit but nothing else will happen |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 8:23:16 PM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Consolidate the debt and cut up cards you get one payment for a long time. Very few people in this position have the will to see it through. This. When I was 18 (64 now) I had a number of things come up and had more on cards than I was comfortable with. I took out a small bank loan out, paid off the cards, cut them up and paid until I paid off the loan. Never missed a payment or was even late. IIRC it was only about $1,500, but at the time it may as well have been $1,500,000 to me. I don't like to be in debt to anyone. Consequently, no mortgage or car payments. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 8:23:38 PM EDT
[#47]
What is her income from jobs 1 and 2, and what would her additional income be from job 3?
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Posted: 8/22/2023 8:25:54 PM EDT
[#48]
You have intentions to get married with this woman?
I would be real hesitant about that. I always assume it's like drinking or drugs. Eventually the habit always sneaks back. The problem is once she marries you it'll be the bank coming for your house. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 8:26:30 PM EDT
[#49]
Choose the card with the highest Apr.Start sending her whole check to it and then use it for any bills or necessity purchases as long as there’s no extra fee for using a cc. Even if you still cycle with a balance the more you can show paid of the previous balance the less interest that card will accrue.
Even better if she can pay the entire previous balance off from the previous month as then you won’t be accruing any interest even if it cycles with a new balance. You could keep that up indefinitely while tackling another card if you want, just don’t keep using the card for frivolous purchases. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 8:27:48 PM EDT
[#50]
You do not need shit on your credit score to have 800+
I have 1 card which I only use to buy shit on palmettostatearmory.com and it should be 0% utilization but it must send the report right after I buy something. 1 small car lease. That's it. Don't suck credit card or banks dick trying to improve your score. Get to a place where you don't even give a shit about it. Cut them cards up.   
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