Seriously though, OP, I can't believe you don't know the answer.

It's "the piece of horny furniture Al Pacino used in HEAT."

Why wasn't that a poll choice?

Anything IKEA.

You're right. Actually DeNiros furniture choice looks pretty good, come to think of it.


The Sun Rises and Sets With Her - Heat (3/5) Movie CLIP (1995) HD

If you want to get women horny, a hot tub is what you need.    It's an unfair advantage, it's like hunting over bait.

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Also get the Eames

Black couch from the documentaries.

New!

Stacks of money.

A wallet tray.

My Eames chair has gotten me laid exactly nonce.
My massage table on the other hand... Every.Damn.Time.

Interesting that's where your head went.

-scribbles in note book-

I always had pretty good luck with this type bedding:



These kind, too:



These:



Even made a kid one time on one of these:  



Like my dad always said: "It ain't the bow, it's the injun."

Racecar bed, duh.

I don't mean to be crass, but if you're looking to furniture to get sex, your poor penis will remain dry and cold.

grew up with a few Herman Miller pieces in the house.  The couches we have were nothing to really brag about - honestly, I would say they sucked, but modern couches have generally been worse.  Part of one is currently stored under my computer desk (my sister has the other 1/2 of that set)...  My father's dining chair was another.  (after some later googling - apparently all the dining chairs were Herman Miller.  Minor variations are still made of both styles.  I have the set of 4 still in storage (I think, I have a lot in storage-my parents effectively had a small warehouse I purchased from the estate).  They were nothing spectacular).  It was comfy, it was also the only piece of my parents furniture my brother wanted.  I could replace it - it's a classic, but they show up on ebay.  Not really worth the effort though.  It does not really fit with any decor in the house.  Other than those peices - I guess the 3 lazy boys were the only furniture of note - they all died.  Other than a couple generations of couches - I live with a LOT of hand me down furniture.

I love my Herman Miller desk chair.  Few dollars have ever been better spent.  That Eames looks pretty nice - but I seriously doubt it would do anything other than piss off my wife.  She did buy another horse today though...  I guess I will put one on my list for the next million.  Don't think I will ever be making much headway on that list though.  That said, building a new house I think - given the cost of a new house, if the decorating takes a turn and one would fit - maybe it might happen...  I need more than 1 chair in the house for me.  I really don't want to think of the hours a week I spend in this Aeron right now.
---
I think if we get the dining set we wanted - it will cost more than that Eames...  Perhaps a nice dining set would turn on my wife...
---


It's been a long, long time - but once upon a time when the dinosaurs ruled the earth, I lived in a complex with people who had a somewhat warped sense of humor.  Management decided too much criminal activity (drugs and friendly neighborhood drug dealers-we kept it generally under control) was happening, so decided to do room by room searches - and apparently our rental contracts allowed it.  We had a few weeks to prepare.  I know every room on my floor of my building decided to have fun with them.  I suspect a couple other floors on a couple other buildings did it as well.  Floors and floors of sex and bondage equipment...  They stopped searching.

Those who know, know.

Both just look like they'd get in the way in the kitchen...

OP, if you can't afford Gomer Bolstrood, get this instead:

It’s considered portable furniture. Fuck the table. You should know this already, but if not, you’re welcome.
They make a cordless version now, for all you old-timers


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https://www.walmart.com/ip/Magic-Wand-Rechargeable-with-Green-Cosmos-Shaving-Cream-8-oz/1323791524?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=3151&adid=222222222281323791524_3151_14069003552_202077872&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=m&wl3=42423897272&wl4=pla-319455734609&wl5=9033594&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=113148332&wl11=online&wl12=1323791524_3151&veh=sem&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADmfBIpyOcpOY_tJAlErVQUeg5D1m&gclid=CjwKCAjw8rW2BhAgEiwAoRO5rBjYmhbph_opobSusN8ycMbqpk975HMPc7ABk3oUnHfVXoQXIju3zRoCnJ0QAvD_BwE

Worked for Woe To Hice’s kid!

Even if they ended up divorced.

But Amy was hotter anyway.

Bonus points if you get a radio to talk to other car beds.

King-size waterbed, right out of the '60s and an inflatable/ portable hot tub!

after a couple decades of marriage... none of them.

Get regular couches and hang a sex swing when you need to do the nasty

Don’t forget the tasteful “Welcome to Poundtown” sign over the headboard.

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A large safe full of cash.

This is my vote.

Came (pardon the pun) to post this. Check out the video on YouTube of the girls riding it and reciting the Night Before Christmas.

Proper spelling turns women on more.

One of the few pieces of furniture that makes my wife hot and ready to go is a bedside couch.  We stayed in Vegas several years back, don't remember which hotel, and the room had one.  We wore that little couch out.

We still talk about getting one for our house, but haven't done it yet.

Single dudes with massage tables are fucking sketchy.

candles

Sebastian above was first

Dad, when did you get an Arfcom account??

@bondsofsteel

If you need a piece of furniture you're doing it wrong.

Sybian

Put the Sybian on a coffee table/divan.

Buddy of mine had a legit 70s gynecological table, complete with stirrups.

It got used, alot

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@556Cliff

hot little Latina waitresses from the tex-ass road house love the race cah bed.