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Posted: 1/30/2018 7:10:27 AM EDT
[#1]
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Meh. My husband got fat and stayed that way for years. I didn't leave him. He took up tobacco use. I didn't leave him. He drank heavily for a while. I didn't leave him. I loved him through it all and continually encouraged him to make healthier choices, even though he had none of those habits when I married him. And after a while, he quit the drinking. And he lost weight. And he's made a commitment to quit using tobacco. A spouse's duty is to be there unconditionally, helping to steer their partner back to better ways of being. You don't just give up when the going gets tough. He's never given up on me through any of my selfish choices, and I've not given up on him. We're a team. YMMV. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 7:14:10 AM EDT
[#2]
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I just thought it was funny that she acted the way I'd expect any loyal, faithful wife would, and any man here would admire her for it. But if we switch the genders of her post, I predict the attitude would be very different for some of you. I'm also not against a husband or wife choosing a spouse whom they know is on the same page as them and encouraging them to keep those standards. (As long as it's a two-day street.) But still, I return to what Naamah wrote, and how some of you wouldn't be willing to say the same as she, were the genders reversed... Quote HistoryQuoted:
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I don't know Naamah nor do I care to, I do find it hilarious that you have taken it upon yourself to associate her directly with my post. I'm also not against a husband or wife choosing a spouse whom they know is on the same page as them and encouraging them to keep those standards. (As long as it's a two-day street.) But still, I return to what Naamah wrote, and how some of you wouldn't be willing to say the same as she, were the genders reversed... |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 7:17:31 AM EDT
[#3]
OP, good luck to you and your husband
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Posted: 1/30/2018 7:17:48 AM EDT
[#4]
find an asian wife.
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Posted: 1/30/2018 7:36:24 AM EDT
[#5]
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Cause that’s the same thing as someone who makes the selfish decision to be fat and lazy. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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How long should your wife wait for you to stop being a shallow prick? |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 7:38:56 AM EDT
[#6]
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I see a lot of guys complain about this all the time but they're fat ass slobs. Do you keep yourself in shape? I do and we both agreed to do the same for each other in the beginning. She's the mother of 3 year old and 1 year old boys. https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/135920/20449-435351.JPG 
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Posted: 1/30/2018 7:39:46 AM EDT
[#7]
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Did she chose to get cancer? Getting fat is a choice. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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OP, Your futuristic wife develops breast cancer: how long until you pitch her? You see, breast cancer grows off female hormones. Part of the treatment requires anti hormone meds to prevent the cancer from coming back. These hormones that make a woman a woman, also cause cancer. So, most women on anti estrogen meds have a dry, atrophied vagina that can make intercourse painful for them. Not always, but sometimes. So OP when do you divorce your wife because you can't fuck her like when you were in your 20s, 30s or 40s? You sound like the "he man" kind of guy who needs regular sex. If she needs a mastectomy, are you going to pressure her into immediate reconstruction so you're satisfied? She may need radiation treatment, but your libido is important here.... |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 7:40:34 AM EDT
[#8]
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"Unconditionally" Are you sure you are using that correctly? How about if he gets drunk and beats you? How about if he molests some kids because he is a pedo? Maybe he gets surgery to become a woman.... Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Meh. My husband got fat and stayed that way for years. I didn't leave him. He took up tobacco use. I didn't leave him. He drank heavily for a while. I didn't leave him. I loved him through it all and continually encouraged him to make healthier choices, even though he had none of those habits when I married him. And after a while, he quit the drinking. And he lost weight. And he's made a commitment to quit using tobacco. A spouse's duty is to be there unconditionally, helping to steer their partner back to better ways of being. You don't just give up when the going gets tough. He's never given up on me through any of my selfish choices, and I've not given up on him. We're a team. YMMV. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 7:42:47 AM EDT
[#9]
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Good then maybe when one becomes crippled in a car accident the wife will eject because her husband can't provide for her anymore Quote HistoryQuoted:
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How long should your wife wait for you to stop being a shallow prick?  Your faith in hypoagency is truly formidable.
what M4-AR said. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 7:42:56 AM EDT
[#10]
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There is no double standard for me. I would expect the same. As far as she and her husband go, her husband seems willing to put effort into it. Again, don't think that is what this post is about. Of course you put effort into it. What happens when the effort is all on one side and not the other? Just be a beta and take it? Quote HistoryQuoted:
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I don't know Naamah nor do I care to, I do find it hilarious that you have taken it upon yourself to associate her directly with my post. I'm also not against a husband or wife choosing a spouse whom they know is on the same page as them and encouraging them to keep those standards. (As long as it's a two-day street.) But still, I return to what Naamah wrote, and how some of you wouldn't be willing to say the same as she, were the genders reversed... |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 8:11:40 AM EDT
[#11]
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I'm not married, but if it ever happens you'd better believe that will be included. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Which vow mentioned "until you blimp out do us part?" |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 8:34:12 AM EDT
[#12]
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Not married but when dating I seek girls who want to engage in fitness activities with me and have comparable fitness goals which I think is a winning strategy. But as of right now I'm at the gym most mornings at 6, and I get home just in time to give her a kiss before she goes to the gym at her office. If you have questions, look at her mom. If you can't see yourself being attracted to her mom when you're at a similar age, then it probably won't work out for you. As my wife says, "black don't crack". Maybe y'all should stop marrying entitled white womenz
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Posted: 1/30/2018 8:49:49 AM EDT
[#13]
Not 160lbs
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Posted: 1/30/2018 9:06:25 AM EDT
[#14]
Lol if this thread gets deleted due to pics of beached whales.
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Posted: 1/30/2018 9:10:13 AM EDT
[#15]
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Lol if this thread gets deleted due to pics of beached whales. Interested to see if your looks will be enough to attract the woman your mindset demands. I'll go first...  Attached FileSome very good looking ladies in here guys. Maybe the stereotype is true. We have a bunch of supermodel wives
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Posted: 1/30/2018 9:33:00 AM EDT
[#16]
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Not 160lbs https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/325471/cbfghgf-e1508964178616-435745.png https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/325471/ashley-graham-435746.jpg https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/325471/160210170037-orig-plus-size-sports-illustrated-graham-cm-00002721-exlarge-169-435747.jpg |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 9:37:17 AM EDT
[#17]
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I'm not married, but if it ever happens you'd better believe that will be included. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 9:42:15 AM EDT
[#18]
If you end up with a smokin hot and charming wife with great genetics, ask yourself these questions:
How much of a jerk do you have to be till she kicks you to the curb? How much of a grumpy old man do you have to be till she kicks you to the curb? How poor do you have to get till she kicks you to the curb? No woman wants to remain fat. If they gain weight then be a positive influence. There is a strong likelyhood she will chose a healthy lifestyle. My wife has stuck with me while I struggled through my career, education, and health issues. I have done the same through her struggles. She has gained weight in the past but can take it off - and has. She is smokin hot and charming too. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 9:42:47 AM EDT
[#19]
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Things happen in life that are beyond ones control. There are reasons one may gain (or lose) weight that are beyond their control. A mature person can grasp this concept. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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How long should your wife wait for you to stop being a shallow prick? I’ll sit here and wait. A mature person doesn’t fling shit to prove a point. You don’t agree with my position? Move on. Like a mature person would. Love is not allowing your partner to needlessly become fat and unhealthy. Love is being there for your partner. Love is supporting them to be a better person. Everyday I make an effort to be a better person, better husband and I expect the same from my wife. We have 1 go at this life thing and I want our lives to be everything we both want it to possibly be. Fun fact: if your spouse is eating themselves into an early grave, there’s probably an issue that they’re eating through. Try talking to them and resolving it. Like a mature person. Turning a blind eye to the problem and proclaiming “it’s love” is a cop out. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 9:56:42 AM EDT
[#20]
If youre willing to kick her out because she has put on weight, then youre the problem, not her
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Posted: 1/30/2018 9:57:42 AM EDT
[#21]
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I love my wife so if she got fat she just gonna be fat..I have aged too in the 25 plus years we have been together and I’m not 137 lbs anymore, but.. she actually lost weight after the 2 kids, I liked her better at 131 than the 114 she is now, I kind of hope she starts gaining weight and I’d like it to go back to where she lost it..her ass and her boobies! |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 10:00:08 AM EDT
[#22]
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Yeah, this shit works both ways. I'm of two minds about this kind of ARF bullshit. On one hand, if a husband or wife stops giving a damn and keeps on not giving a damn even after their spouse is clearly unhappy about it, that's a bad sign. Both of them have to want to care and want to improve if the marriage is going to be satisfying and happy. On the other hand, if either of them says, "If you get fat I'm outta here" (or "If you lose your job/stop providing in an acceptable manner to me and I'm outta here") then they clearly have had a shitty attitude right from the start. I wouldn't want to marry someone who had that attitude and I'd consider it a horrible character flaw. Good luck getting married with your clearly shitty attitude, OP. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 11:01:50 AM EDT
[#23]
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Right, because being injured is the same as making a decision to let yourself go. Your faith in hypoagency is truly formidable.
what M4-AR said. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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How long should your wife wait for you to stop being a shallow prick? Your faith in hypoagency is truly formidable.
what M4-AR said. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 11:14:52 AM EDT
[#24]
You guys make me sad...if my house was on fire I would not be able to carry my wife out of it. 22 years and two kids ago, my wife weighted 135 and was very active and healthy and I was 125-130. I weigh 160 now and she is over 250. I work out at least 5 days a week and no matter what I say to her, it doesn't sink in. I don't know what to do about it. It's quite depressing...
So flame away all you want, until your in that situation you have no idea what your talking about. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 11:28:07 AM EDT
[#25]
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$$$$$$ is all they care about after 40... seriously. Not your gut, bald spots, or your car. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Yeah, this shit works both ways. I'm of two minds about this kind of ARF bullshit. On one hand, if a husband or wife stops giving a damn and keeps on not giving a damn even after their spouse is clearly unhappy about it, that's a bad sign. Both of them have to want to care and want to improve if the marriage is going to be satisfying and happy. On the other hand, if either of them says, "If you get fat I'm outta here" (or "If you lose your job/stop providing in an acceptable manner to me and I'm outta here") then they clearly have had a shitty attitude right from the start. I wouldn't want to marry someone who had that attitude and I'd consider it a horrible character flaw. Good luck getting married with your clearly shitty attitude, OP. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 11:30:56 AM EDT
[#26]
Generally speaking, people are weak.
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Posted: 1/30/2018 11:36:41 AM EDT
[#27]
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Generally speaking, people are weak. Bros and hoes don’t lift. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 12:16:37 PM EDT
[#28]
Sometimes it’s the luck of the draw.
All of my wife’s 4 sisters are or were over 250 and two were over 350. She is 51 years old 5’8” and goes up and down between 135- 155 lbs. Gratuitous booty pic.  Attached File Attached File |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 12:22:02 PM EDT
[#29]
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Now that's hawt! Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Not 160lbs https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/325471/cbfghgf-e1508964178616-435745.png https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/325471/ashley-graham-435746.jpg https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/325471/160210170037-orig-plus-size-sports-illustrated-graham-cm-00002721-exlarge-169-435747.jpg |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 12:38:56 PM EDT
[#30]
OP sounds like a fag.
Wife of 15 years has put on about 30 pounds after 3 kids. She is not at an unhealthy weight and most of it went to her TnA. When she puts that ass to work it's worth every pound if you know what I'm saying. No way in hell I am kicking that to the curb. Hell I am going to go buy her some jewelry for being such an awesome wife/mom and will probably give her a pearl necklace later. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 2:18:54 PM EDT
[#31]
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Yep...that is often a misinterpreted bible verse. Hell being Catholic the whole point is to judge and guilt everyone into salvation.  Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Some of you religious folk sure are smug and judgmental. Isn't that supposed to be one of your sins or something? Judge not lest ye be judged? It does not mean that you should never judge anyone. Hell being Catholic the whole point is to judge and guilt everyone into salvation. 
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Posted: 1/30/2018 2:30:05 PM EDT
[#32]
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You guys make me sad...if my house was on fire I would not be able to carry my wife out of it. 22 years and two kids ago, my wife weighted 135 and was very active and healthy and I was 125-130. I weigh 160 now and she is over 250. I work out at least 5 days a week and no matter what I say to her, it doesn't sink in. I don't know what to do about it. It's quite depressing...
So flame away all you want, until your in that situation you have no idea what your talking about. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 2:40:53 PM EDT
[#33]
How dare you.
If she ain’t 280, SHE AIN’T A LADY!!! but seriously. Gluttony is disgraceful. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 2:47:57 PM EDT
[#34]
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And the funny thing is exercise has never helped my wife lose weight, it's all about her diet. She drinks zero sodas, cut out sugar, carbs and is on a full Keto diet. I am on the same diet except for sodas, we eat lots of red meat, bacon and chicken. There is no bread or sweets in my home except for my sons cereal. Simple diet and chow time is great. No processed foods etc and my BP is down to 105/69, not bad for a lazy 48 yr old. We no longer do fast food and everyone is healthy and happy. After 15 years together the girlfriend and I both stacked on a few extra LBs. Fast food, beer, lazy etc. She was getting to the point where I was considering having "the talk" about weight gain and frankly, I wouldn't have been surprised if she came to me to talk about my beer belly. One day she said "I am getting fat and I don't like it, I am going to try this whole Keto thing". She didn't pressure me to go along but I decided to do it to support her and work on getting rid of my flab. Both of us are at our HS weight and feel fantastic. We both dropped about 20lbs each. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 2:48:59 PM EDT
[#35]
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Which vow mentioned "until you blimp out do us part?" Its not about the fat.. it's about the mindset.... oooohhhh wait... you were being obtuse.... nvm, carry on.. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 2:50:57 PM EDT
[#36]
If your woman is overweight then she doesn't respect you, plain and simple
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Posted: 1/30/2018 2:51:17 PM EDT
[#37]
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OP, Your futuristic wife develops breast cancer: how long until you pitch her? You see, breast cancer grows off female hormones. Part of the treatment requires anti hormone meds to prevent the cancer from coming back. These hormones that make a woman a woman, also cause cancer. So, most women on anti estrogen meds have a dry, atrophied vagina that can make intercourse painful for them. Not always, but sometimes. So OP when do you divorce your wife because you can’t fuck her like when you were in your 20s, 30s or 40s? You sound like the “he man” kind of guy who needs regular sex. If she needs a mastectomy, are you going to pressure her into immediate reconstruction so you’re satisfied? She may need radiation treatment, but your libido is important here.... |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 2:52:19 PM EDT
[#38]
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Good luck! Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Which vow mentioned “until you blimp out do us part?”
Good luck! |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 2:53:04 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted: You divorced the mother of your children because she gained weight? Yes I understand that's a lot of weight but seriously have you ever read the statistics on what divorce and what it does to children? I was always fit and thin--even after my pregnancies. I was blessed with very good genes. However I am now 53 and have arthritis which makes it so I can't get out and move like I used to. In the past year I have gained 40 pounds. I've been doing all I can to lose it but it's hard as F*ck. I'm so thankful my husband married me and not my weight. The weight was just one factor in a long line of horseshit. And if she was such an immaculate mother to my children, why do I have full custody, and why haven't they seen or heard from their mother in close to 8 years now? |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 3:04:12 PM EDT
[#40]
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I would recommend compassion but make a plan. I have some experience with this because I counsel over weight women regularly. Women who are more than 25# over weight suffer from multiple issues. Most often depression, over active adrenals, under active thyroid as well as insulin resistance and estrogen resistance. It is very difficult for obese women to lose weight particularly if she is big busted, works and has small children. She needs your support and compassion and she professional help from several care providers. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 3:10:56 PM EDT
[#41]
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They could just eat less. I understand it's a self control issue but everyone can slay that dragon. It isnt impossible for anyone. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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I would recommend compassion but make a plan. I have some experience with this because I counsel over weight women regularly. Women who are more than 25# over weight suffer from multiple issues. Most often depression, over active adrenals, under active thyroid as well as insulin resistance and estrogen resistance. It is very difficult for obese women to lose weight particularly if she is big busted, works and has small children. She needs your support and compassion and she professional help from several care providers. It's relatively easy to lose weight when your hormones are functioning properly but it's nearly impossible to do so when they aren't. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 3:20:19 PM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Calorie restriction in the presence of hormonal dysregulation backfires. It's relatively easy to lose weight when your hormones are functioning properly but it's nearly impossible to do so when they aren't. It's the motivation and self control most people lack, not a medical condition. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 3:27:53 PM EDT
[#43]
I think a lot of it is genetic, and of course lifestyle. Also breastfeeding really helps. My wife has maintained her figure throughout having 8 children. It’s very nice, but if for some reason if she did not I’d still lover her the same and smash it at every opportunity.
Her with #7 Maybe 110 lbs. 
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Posted: 1/30/2018 3:31:39 PM EDT
[#44]
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They could just eat less. I understand it's a self control issue but everyone can slay that dragon. It isnt impossible for anyone. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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I would recommend compassion but make a plan. I have some experience with this because I counsel over weight women regularly. Women who are more than 25# over weight suffer from multiple issues. Most often depression, over active adrenals, under active thyroid as well as insulin resistance and estrogen resistance. It is very difficult for obese women to lose weight particularly if she is big busted, works and has small children. She needs your support and compassion and she professional help from several care providers. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 3:35:32 PM EDT
[#45]
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First we are talking about a person you have committed your life to be with and most likely the mother of your children. Yes eating less is what is needed but in order to thrive a woman needs more than nutrition. We need acceptance, security, identity and purpose and often outside of eating have little ability to meet their needs. The fact is staying committed to a healthy diet takes a lot of willpower and persistence then needs nurturing and support. It's important to look at your marriage as a team. A good team doesn't look at what the other members lack but for ways they can assist. As long as you are committed to placing blame and feeling injured by your wife's obesity you will perpetuate the problem. Starbucks “coffees”-no Fast food- no Sugar snacks- no. Our country is turning into a fat slob and people are making excuses and justifications for it. It’s disgusting. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 3:36:29 PM EDT
[#46]
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OP sounds like a fag. Wife of 15 years has put on about 30 pounds after 3 kids. She is not at an unhealthy weight and most of it went to her TnA. When she puts that ass to work it's worth every pound if you know what I'm saying. No way in hell I am kicking that to the curb. Hell I am going to go buy her some jewelry for being such an awesome wife/mom and will probably give her a pearl necklace later.
Good for you man 
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Posted: 1/30/2018 3:38:39 PM EDT
[#47]
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A good team doesn't look at what the other members lack but for ways they can assist. As long as you are committed to placing blame and feeling injured by your wife's obesity you will perpetuate the problem. I'm not getting that same vibe from some of the guys here. They talk about the wife (probably a wife they don't yet have) as an employee or a 'product' that is defective and not living up to the hype and they just want a refund because the bitch got fat. I'm not saying that it would be okay to sit by passively and watch someone destroy their health and say nothing about it. But the support and love that Naamah and you talk about, it just ain't there. (Not with all the posts here, some guys talk about a plan and seem to have compassion, but others just ooze resentment. Oh yeah, I'm sure most women would just blossom under that environment! )
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Posted: 1/30/2018 3:39:51 PM EDT
[#48]
My sammich maker has been 115 pounds since we met 15 years ago, even after 2 kids. She has always eaten healthy food. I can't tell you how many fat and overweight friends she has tried to help. 100% failure rate because none of them could control their food cravings. None. I chose wisely.
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Posted: 1/30/2018 3:41:53 PM EDT
[#49]
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My brother is built, and very athletic. His fiance is fat. Probably 165ish. He tries so hard to get her to eat better and exercise, but It never happens. She is very smart and nice, and he wants to make it work. Funny shit because thats why he divorced his high school sweetheart. She got to be over 200 lbs!! every other day. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 3:41:56 PM EDT
[#50]
Not even gonna read this shit just a shoot out to all you other soy boys out there, if you expect her to take care of your crippled old ass some day you better stick it out through some chubb
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